


Chaotic Dance of Whirling Time

by PhoenixFireAndSanelyInsane



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Because of Reasons, Cussing, Founding of Konoha, Gen, I Blame Tumblr, I Don't Even Know, I'm Going to Hell, Is your body ready?, It had better be, Just enough I feel there should be a tag for it, Konohagakure | Hidden Leaf Village, Minor Original Character(s), Non-Consensual Spanking, Rating May Change, Shenanigans, Spanking, There's only one incident of that planned but I'm weird so, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Time Shenanigans, Time Travel, Uchiha Izuna Lives, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, it's all my fault, not much though, possible smut in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-05-31 21:44:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15128444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixFireAndSanelyInsane/pseuds/PhoenixFireAndSanelyInsane
Summary: OKAY EVERYONE. I HAVE LOST MY MIND. I'M SORRY. I FOUND FANART AND THIS HAPPENED.*clears throat* Ahem, anyways...I have a bit of an AU for this, which will be in the bottom notes because it might take up a lot of space. It will provide an explanation for Naruto's future behavior (why, yes, I did just try to make a play on words that turned out awful, thanks for asking). I would like to apologize for this being a terrible chapter. Every single time I try to write a multi-chapter fanfic, the first chapter absolutely sucks nasty sweaty old man dick like its life depends on it. I am so sorry. But I am interested in possibly finding a co-writer if anyone's interested. I already have the second chapter planned and in progress, a few small ideas for chapter three (I haven't actually decided to do any of them yet), and two scenes for a future chapter (haven't decided which one yet) planned/written, but other than that things are free. I don't intend for this to be super long, maybe up to about ten chapters at most. So yeah. Onto the shitty first chapter!(Also, "Yuwaka" means "seduction", and "Touma" means "sword of satisfaction". At least the charaters used for them do.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY EVERYONE. I HAVE LOST MY MIND. I'M SORRY. I FOUND FANART AND THIS HAPPENED.
> 
> *clears throat* Ahem, anyways...I have a bit of an AU for this, which will be in the bottom notes because it might take up a lot of space. It will provide an explanation for Naruto's future behavior (why, yes, I did just try to make a play on words that turned out awful, thanks for asking). I would like to apologize for this being a terrible chapter. Every single time I try to write a multi-chapter fanfic, the first chapter absolutely sucks nasty sweaty old man dick like its life depends on it. I am so sorry. But I am interested in possibly finding a co-writer if anyone's interested. I already have the second chapter planned and in progress, a few small ideas for chapter three (I haven't actually decided to do any of them yet), and two scenes for a future chapter (haven't decided which one yet) planned/written, but other than that things are free. I don't intend for this to be super long, maybe up to about ten chapters at most. So yeah. Onto the shitty first chapter!
> 
> (Also, "Yuwaka" means "seduction", and "Touma" means "sword of satisfaction". At least the charaters used for them do.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small edit, everyone! I whipped up a nice piece of cover art for this, which you should be able to see below, but if not, then it's at this link http://fav.me/dcgaimt
> 
> If it doesn't work, let me know!

__

_Naruto growled as he got up from the ground, his hands quickly forming an all too familiar seal._

_"Kage buinshin no jutsu!"_

_Two clones poofed up, one at each of his sides, as he held out one hand._

_"You bastard, you won't win! No one can beat Uzumaki Naruto, the next Hokage dattebayo!" he shouted, holding up the Rasenshuriken for a moment before throwing it._

_The woman, who in all honestly appeared to be some sort of demon, just smirked as she easily dodged it._

_"Nice try, little boy."_

_She flipped her medium length, dark green hair over her shoulder. Her skin was somewhat of a pastel green, the lower half of her legs a darker shade which ended with black hooves, her eyes were solid black, and her plump lips seemed to be eternally stained with blood._

_She also had a long black devil tail, tattered looking black bat-like wings, two black horns on her head each supporting two small neon green rings, red makeup around her eyes that made it appear they were bleeding, and her outfit; Black pentagram harness, black strappy bra-like top, black mini skirt that just barely covered everything, a black garter belt holding up fishnet thigh highs, a black o-ring collar, black wristbands on both wrists, and a hot pink gem hanging from a black cord around her neck._

_Kakashi would personally describe her as appearing to be a succubus. A very scary-yet-sexy one._

_Naruto just thought she was creepy._

__

_"Come now, Yuwaka, he's not_ that _little. Though he is compared to me."_

_A man, who looked like an average shinobi with short black hair, dark blue eyes, and tan skin, walked up behind the woman._

_"Of course, Touma-kun, no one is as big as you. At least where it counts!"_

_Ino made a fake gagging sound while Sakura, Shikamaru, and Chouji all just looked disturbed to some level._

_"Gross! We don't want to know what you two do together!" Naruto shouted._

_"Hn, so noisy. Let's get this over with and do what we came to, Yuwaka."_

_Before even Kakashi could register what was happening, a red and orange mass of swirling chakra appeared a bit behind Sakura against a tree, and Yuwaka used her horns to launch a ball of energy at the pinkette._

_"SAKURA-CHAN, LOOK OUT!"_

_Naruto bolted towards her, pushing her out of the way just in time for the ball to hit him and throw him back against the tree, the mass starting to pull him in. Shikamaru cursed under his breath and reached his hand towards the Jinchuriki, his shadow splitting into several tentacles and grabbing onto him. "Kageyose no jutsu!"_

_Try as he might, Shikamaru could not pull Naruto out of the mass. "Kakashi-sensei, help me! Mine isn't strong enough on its own!"_

_Kakashi obeyed and used his Sharingan to copy the jutsu and use it himself, but even with two people trying, Naruto was being pulled deeper into the mass and started yelling out in pain. "SHIT! Get me out of this thing, it's sucking both mine and Kurama's chakra!"_

_Sakura ran to him and grabbed his hand, trying to pull him out herself._

_"Hold on tight, Naruto! I think you're moving!"_

_He clutched her wrist desperately. They looked back when Shikamaru cried out, his shadow releasing Naruto and the blond slipping out of Sakura's death grip. He screamed as he was pulled much further into the mass._

_"NARUTOOOO!"_

-

Naruto shot up in bed, screaming quite loudly as he did so. "SAKURA-CHAN!"

Right after he began hyperventilating, a medic-nin rushed into the room and tried to lay him back down.

"Sir, you need to lay down and breathe slowly! Come on, follow me. In, out. In, out. In, out. There we go, keep that up. It's alright, you're safe now, just relax."

The teen was still trembling as he got his breathing under control, looking at the medic with panicked eyes.

"Where am I? Where's Sakura-chan? Is she okay?" "You're in the medical building Hokage-sama set up while the hospital is being built."

Naruto, despite still obviously being in the middle of an anxiety attack, gave the man a confused look.

"Did it get destroyed while I was out on the mission? Where's Baachan, I want to know what's going on!"

His breathing started to quicken again and the medic-nin pressed two fingers between his eyebrows, sending a small pulse of healing chakra through them. Naruto almost instantly relaxed.

"There we go. You need to stay calm, your wounds are not fully healed yet and we can't have you reopening them. Now, can you stay here and relax while I go fetch Hokage-sama? He requested to be notified as soon as you woke up."

Naruto just gave a weak nod, watching the medic leave the room. A few moments after the door was shut, he frowned. "Baachan isn't a he!"

He didn't feel like he could really move anything other than his head, so he just laid there staring at the ceiling obediently while he waited.

Finally, after about ten minutes, there was a knock at the door.

"Baachan? Is that you?"

The door opened and the medic-nin from before stepped inside, followed closely by a taller man with tan skin and long, dark brown hair wearing what looked to be a black version of the standard shinobi uniform for Konoha with red armor over it.

"Ah, no, I'm afraid I'm not your grandmother. You must've hit your head pretty hard. Sorry I couldn't come to heal you sooner, I had some work to catch up on..." the taller man said. Naruto just looked confused when he patted the shorter man's head.

"Arigatou, Tadase-kun! I knew I could count on you to keep an eye on him for me!"

The shorter man, Tadase, let himself briefly beam with pride.

"Of course, Hokage-sama! Should I wait outside?" "No no, you can stay! You do need to observe more advanced healing jutsu before you can try to learn it."

The brunet walked over to Naruto and gave him a warm smile, but the blond had his eyes narrowed.

"Is this some sort of prank? Did Baachan set this up as some sort of punishment for failing the mission?"

The man gave an awkward laugh as his hands started glowing green, holding them over Naruto's heavily bandaged arm.

"I'm not aware of any pranks set up involving me. What was your mission?"

"Trying to stop some freaky skank demon thing. I think sensei called her a succulent..."

The man laughed. "I think you mean 'succubus', a succulent is a plant!" "Yeah, that! One of those and some guy with her. I think they were dating, they kept saying gross things to each other."

Naruto winced when the hands moved over his chest.

"So, where are you from?"

Naruto frowned.

"Konoha! I'm wearing the headband!"

Now the man frowned.

"Yes, I was told you were found wearing one for the village, but I'm afraid there are no records of anyone matching your description living here, and I know I didn't send you out on a mission to track down a succubus. Maybe Tobi knows about it...Or one of his experiments backfired again and messed with your head."

The teen yelped and jumped when one glowing hand was placed on his forehead. "Cold! Cold!"

"Sorry! My healing chakra is always cold for some reason...Everyone else's is warm..."

He squirmed a bit, though the man used his free hand to gently still him.

"You need to hold still. I'm not finding any head trauma save for the small cuts and bruises. Which is technically good."

After a few minutes of silence, having gone over the rest of Naruto's body and healing the worst of his injuries, the man stepped back with another smile.

"There we go! There are still a few cuts and bruises, but they're not bad enough to be concerned about. They should heal up on their own within a week at most. We just need to keep you on bedrest for a few days. Are you hungry?"

In response, Naruto's stomach growled loudly and he blushed slightly, giving a nervous grin.

"Maybe a little...Any chance I could get some ramen?"

-

Naruto did indeed get his ramen, and it was actually quite good. The man who had healed him said his wife had made it (while wearing a lovestruck expression on his face), and for the next three days, he was brought a large bowl of it for dinner. He was far from complaining, it was _much_  better than the standard hospital food, which for some unknown reason tasted a lot better than he remembered. Had they started using different brands or something since he had last been stuck there?

On the morning of the fourth day, the man came into his room with another man who was slightly taller, had short white hair, pale skin, red eyes, red markings on his face, and was dressed like the brunet save for his armor being blue with a fur collar. Naruto looked at them curiously.

"Hi again! Who's this guy? Are you related to Kakashi-sensei? You look a lot like him! Well, from what I know, I've never seen his face."

The white-haired man quirked an eyebrow, but otherwise, his face remained blank.

"I'm afraid I have never met anyone with the name Kakashi, and most certainly there is no one with that name in my clan." "Aw, c'mon, Tobi! His brain is still mixed up, he couldn't know that! Anyway, did you send him out on a mission without telling me?"

"Baachan sent me on the mission!"

The white-haired man narrowed his eyes.

"Anija, did you seriously bring a stranger into the village and leave him alone and unguarded?" "He was wearing a headband for the village! Plus I didn't bring him in, a patrol did!"

He stepped closer, the blond swallowing hard and shrinking away a bit under the fierce red-eyed glare.

"Name."

"N-Naruto."

"Age."

"Sixteen."

"Occupation."

"I'm a ninja 'ttebayo!"

"Affiliation?"

"Konoha!"

"Impossible. I have never seen you in the village before."

Naruto whined and pouted.

"Okay, I get it, I messed up! Baachan, you can stop the joke now!"

The taller man turned to the shorter one. "He does truly believe what he's saying. He had no chakra spikes to signify he lied, or even slightly stretched the truth. What are we going to do with him?"

The tan man thought about it for a moment.

"I know! I'll just take him home with me! Mito and I are both more than strong enough to handle things if he tries anything!"

The blond frowned.

"Why would I try anything? You healed me and brought me homemade ramen! It's the first time I've ever had any that was homemade, it was a lot better than Ichiraku's! And that place has the best ramen in the world!"

The man beamed. "Mito would love to hear that! She takes a lot of pride in her cooking! I'll get you some clothes and get you out of here!"

As he tried to practically skip out, the pale man grabbed his collar and yanked him back in without even looking away from Naruto for a nanosecond.

"Anija! Don't be an idiot! You will fall for anything!"

As the man slumped into a depressed mood, the other went over to Naruto and made a few hand seals before pressing two fingers to his chest over his heart. Naruto yelped when he felt a tiny shock.

"Hey! What was that for?!" "Chakra binding. Until we figure out who you are and why you're here."

He handed the blond a pair of gray pants, a soft yellow short sleeved yukata top with a black obi belt, and a pair of black sandals identical to the ones he and the other man were wearing.

"You already had clothes for him, Tobi? Why didn't you say so?!" "Stop calling me that." The two left long enough for Naruto to change, then they both led him out of the building and into the streets.

"Whoa, what happened? Was there another attack that destroyed the village?"

Both men looked at him strangely.

"No. Why would you ask such a nonsensical question?"

"Tobirama! Be nice!"

Tobirama rolled his eyes and said nothing. Naruto just looked around, seeming to be amazed in some way by the sights. Until he spotted the Hokage mountain.

"EH?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER FOUR FACES?!"

Tobirama frowned. "Anija's is the only one that's ever been there. He is the Hokage, after all."

"No, Baachan is the Hokage!" He paused for a moment, looking between the tan man and the face on the mountain, bewildered and confused until the men led him into a compound and to the largest house.

"I'm going to leave you and Mito to deal with this. I need to get back to work, you know how to call for me if I'm needed." Tobirama was suddenly gone, and Naruto was led inside where he and the tan man removed their shoes.

"Mito! Tadaima! We have a guest!"

A woman in a simple sky blue yukata with bright red hair tied into two neat buns walked into the living room from the hallway.

"Oh, you didn't tell me you were bringing anyone by, Hashirama. Please, have a seat. Would you like some tea?"

Naruto shook his head. "No thanks! I don't really like tea."

Mito just smiled and ushered them towards the kotatsu. Once the teen and Mito were seated, Hashirama smiled at them.

"Mito, this is Naruto! He's going to be staying with us for awhile, a patrol found him injured outside the village and brought him in for medical treatment, but he's kinda confused and we don't know where he belongs."

The woman rolled her eyes at him but gave the boy a smile. "It's nice to meet you."

"And Naruto, this is my lovely, beautiful, talented, amazing wife, Uzumaki Mito!"

Naruto shot up and pointed at her accusingly.

"Uzumaki?! That's my name! Why are you using my name?!"

Both adults looked confused.

"Um, pardon?" Mito asked.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Why are you using my last name?!"

"Dear, I'm the daughter of the Uzumaki Clan head, I've had this name since I was born. I would have taken Hashi's name, but he insisted I should keep my own so I'm not only known as the Hokage's wife."

"Uzumaki Clan?! There's a _clan_  with my name?!"

They sweatdropped.

It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU description:  
> This is technically post-Fourth Shinobi World War (about three months after it, to be specific), but the war isn't really anything like in the actual series. Madara is still heavily involved, though. He declares the war, but does not receive all the manpower he was guaranteed, so he decides to just destroy Konoha since that was the source of his rage anyway. He doesn't announce that, though, and attacks the village while they're preparing to move out to the location they're supposed to fight in. The four previous Hokages were summoned but never actually deployed. The Allied Shinobi Forces was indeed formed after the declaration of war, and Suna and Kiri each had sent a small patrol to Konoha to see if they needed anything, and they get there during the attack.
> 
> Neji still dies (sorry), as does Shikaku and some of the others who died in the war (I can't find their names, I tried), so Naruto is obviously pissed. Kakashi has not yet become the Rokudaime Hokage, as he and Tsunade both agreed it would be best to wait until after the war just in case Kakashi didn't make it. The process for him to become Hokage has been started, though. They end up defeating Madara and the very small amount of backup he brought with him (a few other reincarnated ninjas, Orochimaru, Kabuto, etc). Obito was under a special mind controlling jutsu Madara had created specifically to use with his Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan so it couldn't be broken by anything but another Eternal Mangekyou, which to his knowledge he was the only one with it so he had no worries. Obito was captured and is currently being held in a specially outfitted cell in the prison situated under the Hokage Tower (I can't find out where it actually is but that's where I'm saying it is so shut up) until the jutsu can be broken, though the cell is more of a maximum security hospital room and specific people are allowed to visit him at any time if they're approved of and put on a list by Tsunade. Which is really just her, Shizune, a few handpicked medic-nins (including Sakura if she isn't alone), and Kakashi, but others can ask for permission to visit.
> 
> PHEW! I think that's pretty much it. Oh, and the pics were made by me in character creators. Naruto in the famed Naruto Character Creator by Hapuriainen, and Yuwaka in the Demon Creator 1.0 by Ellise93 (both can be found on deviantART).


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here you get a look at what happened in his time after Naruto was sucked into the portal!

"NARUTOOOO!"  
  
Sakura punched the tree hard enough to damn-near obliterate it when the mass disappeared, her eyes starting to feel a bit damp.  
  
"What did you do to him? Where is he?!" she demanded.  
  
Yuwaka laughed loudly while Touma just grinned.  
  
"Somewhere you'll never find him. The world is finally rid of another one of those monsters!" the man answered.  
  
He suddenly went flying back into a boulder, his nose instantly breaking and his ribs cracking from the sheer force behind it. Sakura was glaring at him, fist still raised.  
  
"Naruto is  _not_  a monster, and so help me if you call him that again I will break every single bone in your body before ripping out your insides!"  
  
Everyone stared at her in shock, and she just stood up straight.  
  
"I'm sick and tired of him being called a monster when we know good and well that he's not!"  
  
Taking advantage of the distraction, Shikamaru caught both of their opponents with one of his shadow jutsus, leaving Kakashi able to put them both under a genjutsu with his Sharingan that left them completely paralyzed. With that, the two were tied up and rushed back to Konoha for interrogation.  
  
After dropping them off with Ibiki, the five-nin team rushed to Tsunade's office.  
  
"TSUNADE-SAMA!"  
  
The woman jumped as Sakura threw open the door.  
  
"Sakura! You know better than to do that!" "Naruto's gone!"  
  
Tsunade froze, eyes wide. "What?"  
  
Kakashi stepped forward, panting slightly and obviously drained from overusing his Sharingan.  
  
"The two you sent us after planned this. They were after Naruto the whole time. I'm not sure what exactly they did, but he was sucked into a mass of chakra that honestly looked like it came from both Kurama and Gai when he opens all Eight Gates. So, swirling red and orange chakra."  
  
Her face fell.  
  
"That was a portal. A space-time portal. They are incredibly difficult to create, so difficult it's rare someone can actually open one and a person can be considered lucky if they ever see one with their own eyes. I've only seen one once myself."  
  
The group all had looks of curiosity on their faces, and she sighed.  
  
"My great uncle, Senju Tobirama, showed his last Genin team one during training one day. He got stuck with babysitting duty that day so he brought me along. They were all allowed to stick their heads in and look, but I was still in the academy so he wouldn't let me do it even though it was perfectly safe. I admit I threw a bit of a tantrum over that out of jealousy, but I was a child and still in the stage of temper tantrums when I didn't get what I want thanks to Ojichan. He didn't create it to send anything anywhere, just as a window into the dimension between space and time to see what exactly his Hirashin and every other space-time ninjutsu messed with."  
  
They all nodded.  
  
"So, what does that mean for Naruto, then? Is...Is he...?" Sakura asked hesitantly.  
  
"I don't know. Though I highly doubt just traveling through the portal would kill him. But he could be anywhere in the world, or at any time. If you recall, he has traveled through time once before, though in a different manner. If I can find Uncle Tobi's notes, or better yet his lab, I might be able to create the same type of portal to bring him back. But he was as much of a Fuinjutsu master as any Uzumaki, I may need to track one down just to help me find where the damn place is hidden so I can try to break the seals. I loved him dearly, and he was an absolute genius for setting seals to hide away his lab and any sensitive information he had that wasn't locked up in the vault if he were to die, but he liked to make things simple even for his family."  
  
Everyone nodded again.  
  
"Go home, the lot of you. Get some rest, go soak in the onsen if you must, just relax and let yourselves recover. Be here in my office at noon sharp in three days time. That gives you all a chance to get back in tip-top shape, deal with any injuries, and gives me time to start looking for both a high-level Sensor and a Fuinjutsu master. Dismissed!"  
  
Once she was left alone, Tsunade started rubbing her temples and allowed her eyes to water. "Naruto, you insufferable brat, you'd better be okay, wherever you are...I'll find a way to bring you back, even if it costs me my life." she promised.  
  
"Shizune! I need the files of every Sensor and Fuinjutsu expert in Konoha immediately! I don't care what their rank is, if they're out of the academy, I want the file!" "Hai, Tsunade-sama!"  
  
-  
  
Three days later, Tsunade had a short list of Sensors and those skilled in Fuinjutsu to chose from, which she was looking over when five people stepped into her office. She looked up and gave them a weary smile.  
  
"Good, you're all here on time. Please, sit, I sent Shizune out to get lunch for all of us. It is my lunch hour, after all, but it's the only time I had this week I could fit you into."  
  
Sakura and Ino sat in the two chairs in front of the desk while the boys all just sat on the floor. The Hokage took a deep breath.  
  
"I have found two Fuinjutsu users to choose between to help me break the seals and five Sensors. All are quite good, save for one I'm not sure of the level of her skills. I may end up picking two, I know how to connect them so they can combine their abilities to become like one highly skilled Sensor. I will be talking to them later today and assessing their skills to decide who is best for the job."  
  
"Is my father one of the Sensors? If so, I want to help him!" Ino said.  
  
"No, he's not. He was considered, but his sensing abilities are not quite the kind I need. But, if he needs help interrogating those two who did this, you may assist. It would be good for you to learn more about how your clan's special jutsus are used in interrogations."  
  
The blonde teen nodded, slightly disappointed but not arguing. She would take what she could get.  
  
"Now, I know this will be difficult, but I want you all to continue on like normal for now. If anyone asks about Naruto, he was seriously injured during the mission and is recovering in the high-security wing of the hospital, and he's not allowed visitors at this time. We can't have it get out that he's technically missing."  
  
Shizune quietly entered the room and handed everyone a bento with a sympathetic smile before leaving them again, not wishing to be in the way. They ate in relative silence for a bit before Kakashi spoke up.  
  
"He'll be okay. He's survived through things most people, ninja or not, wouldn't have come close to being able to do so. He and the Kyuubi are on good terms, and he won't let his host die because it would mean his own death. In fact, he's probably in a hospital as we speak being cared for quite well."  
  
Oh, if only he knew how true that statement was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally cranked this entire chapter out in a few hours...I'm sorry it sucks as much as the first one, the third one should be MUCH better because the story can actually get going!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the early days of Konoha! And some trouble arises!

Hashirama and Mito spent the rest of the afternoon and a good bit of the evening, even through dinner, explaining to Naruto about the Uzumaki Clan and Uzushio until the blond finally passed out around 10:30, at which time Hashirama carried him to the guest room and put him to bed, then got ready to do the same with Mito.  
  
The next morning, Naruto awoke to the smell of food, groggily shuffling down the hallway towards the kitchen.  
  
"Ah! Ohayo, Naruto-kun! How did you sleep?" Hashirama asked from the stove.  
  
"Nnngh, okay I think...Do I smell pancakes?" "Mhm! Blueberry and chocolate chip! Mito isn't feeling well, so I'm making breakfast this morning! Go ahead, have a seat!"  
  
Naruto did so with a yawn, rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Do you drink coffee?"  
  
The blond made a face and shook his head. "No. Bitter."  
  
The brunet laughed and set a plate of pancakes and eggs in front of him. "I'm not as great of a cook as my beautiful wife is, but I can handle simpler things pretty well. Eat up, there's plenty!"  
  
Naruto nodded and began to eat a bit hesitantly, looking a bit worried. Hashirama frowned.  
  
"Is it not good? I tried my best, I'm sorry!" he said, slumping into one of his depressed moods.  
  
"No no, it's great! I just...I'm not used to having breakfast. Not a real one, anyway..."  
  
Hashirama sat across from him with a matching plate and a mug full of coffee. "Why not?"  
  
"I live alone and can't cook worth a damn. I mostly live off of instant ramen, ration bars, and Ichiraku's ramen when I can. Unless my team goes out to eat or one of my friends invites me out. Or whatever we stop for on missions when we have the time."  
  
The man gave him a small smile that made it quite clear he felt bad for how the teen lived.  
  
"Your team? Why don't you tell me about them?"  
  
Now Naruto smiled, taking more of an eager bite.  
  
"Sure! There's Sakura-chan, she's a really strong kunoichi and she learned how to be a medic-nin from Baachan, and Baachan is the best medic-nin out there! There's also Sai, he's weird and I think he's into me or something, he gets kinda touchy-feely and likes to make comments about my, er, thing. Sasuke was on my team before him, but the teme went kinda nuts and left the village. I'm still trying to drag his ass back, he did what he originally set out to do!"  
  
Hashirama frowned a bit but didn't say anything, he just kept eating.  
  
"Then there's Kakashi-sensei, he's really lazy and is always reading one of Ero-sennin's pervy books, but he's really strong when he fights and is really good with his Sharingan! Though he might be giving it back soon, depends on if Obito gets better and wants it back or not."  
  
"Ah, your sensei is an Uchiha? How wonderful!" "No! His best friend gave him one of his Sharingan after he lost his eye when they were kids."  
  
The Hokage looked confused but motioned for him to continue.  
  
"There's also Yamato-taichou. He uses this really scary face when we try to have fun and he can do these really cool jutsus that no one else can. He uses it to make shelters for us when we stop to camp out on missions, it's a lot better than those stupid tents all ninja are given."  
  
Naruto quickly finished off his plate and licked his lips. "Mm, that was good, thanks!"  
  
Hashirama practically beamed. "You're welcome! If you'd like any more pancakes, there are quite a few left. I didn't know how much you'd eat, and I have quite the appetite myself."  
  
The blond eagerly helped himself to another stack before rejoining the man at the table. "So, what kind of jutsu is it your, er, what position does he have on your team if he's not the Jonin instructor?"  
  
"Oh, he took over when Kakashi-sensei was in the hospital or something and he stayed with the team after that. I think he says he's Sensei's assistant or something."  
  
"Ah. Anyway, what jutsu is it he uses that you're so fond of?"  
  
"Oh! It's-" he paused for a moment, "Actually, I don't remember what it's called. But he can make trees and stuff!"  
  
Hashirama's jaw nearly hit the floor.  
  
"I know, right? It's so cool! I wish I could show you, but I can't do it. He tried to teach it to me after I begged him for like a month, but apparently only certain people can do it."  
  
"Is it anything like this?"  
  
A small branch sprouted from the center of the table and bent into the shape of a star.  
  
"WOW! Yeah, like that! Wait, how did that happen?!"  
  
He shook his head. "That's impossible...I'm the only person in the world who can use Mokuton..."  
  
"Eh?! What do you mean?!"  
  
Hashirama sweatdropped.  
  
"Mokuton is my Kekkei Genkai. What you described to me and what I just showed you are examples of that, but I don't know how someone else is able to use it."  
  
"Wait, you did that? How?! You didn't make any seals!" "I don't need them, except for the highly advanced Mokuton jutsus."  
  
Naruto looked absolutely amazed as they both finished eating and Mito shuffled in, her hair down. Hashirama was almost instantly on his feet, hugging her gently and kissing her cheek.  
  
"Ohayo, Mito! Are you feeling any better?"  
  
She smiled slightly and nodded. "I'll feel much better after I get my hands on some of your pancakes. Do we still have some peanut butter?"  
  
"Mhm! You just sit down and relax, I'll fix it for you!"  
  
He pulled out the chair next to his for her, pushed it in once she sat down, and took his and Naruto's dishes into the kitchen.  
  
"Ohayo, Naruto-kun. Did you sleep well last night?" the woman asked politely.  
  
"I think so! I mean, I don't have any weird pains and I'm not super tired, so I guess that counts."  
  
Hashirama set a plate in front of his wife before kissing her cheek again and sitting back down in his chair.  
  
"Naruto-kun was telling me about his team. One of his teachers is also a Mokuton user! Isn't that great?"  
  
She nearly choked on her mouthful of peanut butter and syrup slathered pancakes.  
  
"Y-Yes, it is, I suppose. Who are they?"  
  
"Yamato-taichou. He's kinda scary but he's really good! He builds us shelters on missions so we don't have to use those stupid tents!"  
  
They sat in silence while Mito finished eating, and Hashirama kissed her happily before she insisted on taking care of her own dishes. While she did that, Hashirama invited Naruto to step outside with him for some fresh air.  
  
"Ah, it's such a nice day! Perfect for morning training with Tobi! I don't have to be at work until after lunch today, so I can show you around the village after I get back from training if you want."  
  
Naruto shrugged. "I guess so. I mean, I know the village pretty well, but it looks like things changed while I was out so it'd be good to see what else is different. And I need to know if any of my hiding spots are missing!"  
  
Hashirama laughed and playfully slapped the back of his shoulder.  
  
"It's settled then! Unless Mito is busy, then I might have to take you with me."  
  
"Ooooh! Can I join you two?!" "Your chakra is bound, you can't." "Aw man!"  
  
They stayed outside for a few more minutes before heading inside and getting dressed for the day, Naruto being loaned an old set of clothes Hashirama still had from his teen years.  
  
-  
  
Two hours later, Mito having stated she was, in fact, going to be busy all morning, Hashirama and Naruto arrived at a familiar training ground.  
  
"Hey! This is the field my team trains at! Glad to see the posts are still there! But I still haven't forgiven Kakashi-sensei for tying me to one..."  
  
Tobirama, who was leaning against one of the posts, glared.  
  
"What is he doing here, Anija?" "Mito's busy so I brought Naruto-kun with me! He's going to stay out of the way and just watch us for today!"  
  
The albino looked far from happy.  
  
"You want to let a stranger, who could very well be an enemy, watch us train?"  
  
Naruto stomped his foot childishly.  
  
"I'm not an enemy! I'm Uzumaki Naruto, Chunin ranked shinobi from Konohagakure! Why won't you believe me?!"  
  
He quirked an eyebrow. "Uzumaki? Does Mito know who this kid is?"  
  
"Nope! She's never met or heard of someone from her clan having blond hair! She's running a DNA test today to check for any blood relation."  
  
"Whatever. Our skills are known far and wide, it's not like our abilities are any kind of secret. But no using anything we aren't known for using already!" "Okay!"  
  
Naruto sat under the tree Kakashi always liked to wait in and watched as the brothers got into position, then lept into fighting with no hesitation.  
  
They went for an hour straight before Hashirama finally managed to catch Tobirama in his Mokuton and press a kunai to his throat. "Gotcha!"  
  
The white-haired man huffed in annoyance, holding still until the branches retreated. He looked towards Naruto when the teen started cheering.  
  
"Yeah! You two are awesome dattebayo! And you're a lot better with that tree jutsu stuff than Yamato-taichou is, uh, Hashirama-san!"  
  
Hashirama puffed out his chest in pride. "Arigato!"  
  
"Are you sure he had no head trauma, Anija? He just said you're better at using your own jutsu than some other person. Everyone knows you're the only one to ever possess Mokuton." "HEY! I'M RIGHT HERE!"  
  
He just rolled his eyes as his brother confirmed the diagnosis.  
  
"So! Are you ready for the tour, Naruto-kun?" "Hai!"  
  
Tobirama trailed closely behind as the two headed back into the village and straight to the market. He didn't trust Naruto one bit.  
  
-  
  
The three of them wandered around for about an hour without running into any problems. Then, after listening to a short conversation Hashirama had with a shopkeeper, it hit Naruto like a ton of bricks.  
  
"WAIT A MINUTE! Y-You're Senju Hashirama, the Shodai Hokage! How are you even alive?! You died before my parents were even born!" the blond shouted.  
  
Both Senju brothers looked confused.  
  
"Yes, he is. Has it really taken you this long to figure that out, even though you've been told his name and position several times?" Tobirama asked slowly.  
  
Naruto ignored his question.  
  
"That's where Yamato-taichou got the wood thingy from, he said it came from you when he was a little kid!"  
  
Hashirama blinked, eyes wide as people started to stare at them.  
  
"I don't see how...But I'm very much alive with no intention of dying any time soon."  
  
Tobirama quirked an eyebrow and stepped towards the teen.  
  
"Naruto, what year is it?" he asked.  
  
"It's 2006, duh!"  
  
The brothers shared a concerned look.  
  
"Er, no, it's 1926..." Hashirama said awkwardly.  
  
Before Naruto could say anything, they heard an incredibly angry shout.  
  
"HASHIRAMAAAAAAA!"  
  
Villagers dove into shops and scampered out of the path of one pissed off Uchiha Madara whose hair was seeming to bristle and quiver like the fur of an angry cat.  
  
"You idiot, where the fuck were you?! We were supposed to meet to discu-" "TEME!"  
  
Naruto suddenly tackled the Uchiha and punched him in the face as hard as he could, successfully breaking his nose and making it gush blood.  
  
"YOU KILLED THEM! YOU KILLED NEJI AND SHIKAKU AND SO MANY INNOCENT NINJA! YOU BRAINWASHED SENSEI'S BEST FRIEND AND TRIED TO FORCE HIM TO HELP YOU DESTROY KONOHA! YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY PARENTS DEATHS!" he screamed, trying to beat the mans face into a bloody pulp as orange chakra began seeping out of him and started forming a cloak.  
  
Hashirama, Madara, and Tobirama were all shocked, as were all the villagers who could see the spectacle, though Madara came to rather quickly and tried to throw the blond off to no avail.  
  
"Get off of me you little brat!"  
  
Wood burst from the ground and grabbed the teens limbs and waist, yanking him off of Madara. Tobirama quickly slapped a chakra suppressing tag onto his forehead while he was still trapped in the wooden bindings and the orange chakra almost instantly dispersed, though Naruto was still fuming.  
  
"What the fuck was that?! I thought that thing was sealed into your wife, Hashirama!" the Uchiha spat, using his sleeve to wipe the blood from his face.  
  
"It-It is!"  
  
Inside Naruto's head, Kurama was howling in pain due to the tag on his host's forehead, trying to forcibly drag all of the chakra he had let slip through back to himself in an attempt to stop the pain. Luckily, it was working to reduce the amount of pain both Bijuu and Jinchuriki were in.  
  
The wood binding Naruto's limbs changed into a set of wrist and hand bindings that would prevent him from trying to make any seals and he was quickly dragged, thrashing around and yelling the entire time about Madara being a sick, cold-blooded monster, to the Hokage tower and into the one completed interrogation room where he was sat in the chair and the wood adjusted to keep him attached to it.  
  
"How do you have access to the Kyuubi's chakra?" Tobirama growled out.  
  
"I'm his Jinchuriki! He was sealed into me when I was born after Obito was forced by Madara to extract him from my mother and use him to destroy Konoha!" "Impossible! The beast has been sealed into Uzumaki Mito for nearly a year now, and Konoha has only existed for a year and a half!"  
  
Naruto tried to tug at his restraints to no avail.  
  
Tobirama pulled out a kunai and held it to his throat, but Hashirama grabbed his wrist. "Tobi, wait!"  
  
He yanked the younger man's hand away and lifted Naruto's shirt, exposing the seal on his stomach and making both men gasp.  
  
"Is that...?" "Just like Mito's seal. Almost identical, though I do see a few minor differences."  
  
Naruto squirmed a bit, cheeks tinted pink, the blush deepening when Tobirama placed his hand over it. "H-Hey! Don't touch that!"  
  
After a moment, the albino backed away in what could account to horror.  
  
"Hashirama...He's not like the Gold and Silver Brothers, or any pseudo-Jinchuriki. He doesn't have chakra from the demon sealed into him, he actually  _has_   _part_   _of it_ sealed into him. I only sense half of it, though."  
  
"I told you! According to my parents, I have the Yang half. My dad took the Yin half with him when he died."  
  
The Senju brothers just stared at him, dumbstruck. "Anija, go get Mito.  _Now_. I need to check her seal and status as a Jinchuriki."  
  
"Why can't you do it? It'd be a lot faster with your Hiraishin!" "She can't travel via that right now. But I will send you to her with it."  
  
He placed his hand on Hashirama's shoulder, made a one-handed seal, and the older man was gone. The blond started squirming again.  
  
"Can you let me go now? Or at least loosen the things on my wrists? They're really starting to hurt!" "Only my brother can do that. Try as I might, I cannot affect his Mokuton unless he specifically leaves it open for me to do so."  
  
Naruto groaned, then suddenly flinched.  
  
 _" **Kit, I'm so sorry. I just saw Madara and lost it. I shouldn't have done that. If I hadn't then you wouldn't be in this mess.** " "Where the hell have you been?! I haven't heard from you in _days _!" " **I was trying to avoid that damned Sensor noticing me. He helped his brother seal me into Mito, I sensed her before you woke up after we got here. I woke up right after the patrol found you, they were trying to decide what to do. As soon as they had you inside the gate, I sensed her and hid my chakra. That required me to completely retreat from your mind. I knew they'd assume you were like the Gold and Silver Brothers, the damn savages.** "_  
  
"What's with that face? I know the cuffs didn't tighten themselves." "I was talking with Kurama. He's saying it's causing me so much pain because of the tag you put on my head." "Kurama?"  
  
Before Naruto could answer, the door was thrown open and Hashirama rushed in with Mito behind him, both of them panting.  
  
"This had better be good, Tobirama, I was in the middle of something important." the redhead said calmly, though her eyes made it clear she was pissed.  
  
"I need to check your seal."  
  
She rolled her eyes and walked over to him, lifting her shirt just enough to expose her seal.  
  
"Hey, that looks just like mine!"  
  
Mito gave the teen a confused look as Tobirama placed his hand on her stomach rather gently. It took a few moments before he spoke.  
  
"The seal is fully intact, still completely stable, and from what I can tell, the entire beast is still there, but I can feel part of it trying to separate."  
  
Mito put her shirt back down and crossed her arms. "What is this about?"  
  
Naruto suddenly cried out in pain, body trembling a bit.  
  
"GAH! T-Tag! Please! Take it off! H-Hurts!"  
  
Hashirama, not even waiting for Tobirama to say anything, bolted over to him and yanked the tag off, watching the teen slump in the chair as his body relaxed and he started panting hard. The redhead jumped in surprise, looking at him with wide eyes.  
  
"I know that chakra. Oh, hush, you, of course I know it's yours!" she said, glaring down at her stomach.  
  
Tobirama went back to Naruto and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up.  
  
"How did you get here? What is the last thing you remember before waking up in the medical building?"  
  
"Me and some of my friends and my Sensei were fighting some succubus and her boyfriend and they trapped me in a bunch of orange and red chakra. It looked kinda like a whirlpool and it really hurt, it was draining my chakra and Kurama's too!"  
  
His eyes widened and he made quite a few seals in a matter of seconds, a small mass of swirling red and orange chakra appearing beside him.  
  
"Did it look anything like this?" "Yeah! Just like that! But it was a lot bigger, just a little smaller than me!"  
  
The albino made another seal and the mass disappeared, then he turned to his brother and sister-in-law.  
  
"I know what's going on. That was a space-time portal I summoned. It is capable of sending anything, living or inanimate, to anywhere and any time in the universe, even into another dimension." Mito nodded in understanding, and Hashirama's eyes went wide.  
  
"Tobi, are you saying...?"  
  
"Yes, Anija."  
  
He sighed.  
  
"This kid, Uzumaki Naruto, has traveled back in time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN! {cue cheesy dramatic music}


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some randomness. Some things are explained in the notes at the bottom! I'd put them up top, but then they'd be spoilers.

Naruto was starting to adjust to his new (and hopefully temporary!) life, living with Hashirama and Mito for the past two weeks while Tobirama tried to figure out the best way to send him back (and how he was thrown so far back, as to his knowledge that shouldn't be possible). Much to the teen's annoyance, Tobirama had kept his headband so he could have something from Naruto's time to work with for his experiments, but he was guaranteed to get it back when they were able to send him home. Though Mito had started having odd mood swings. And they were really starting to freak him out.

Such as the one she was currently having.

"I-I can't believe we're out!" she sobbed, head in her arms while she cried.

Hashirama was standing behind her, rubbing her back and frantically trying to calm her down while Naruto sat across from them, awkwardly poking at his bowl of ramen.

"I-It's okay, Mito! I can ask Madara to bake another batch for you! I can even go ask him right now if you want! It makes him happy to know people love his cookies so much!"

The blond looked away awkwardly. He had been made to apologize to Madara for attacking him (even though both he and Kurama felt it was deserved) and now owed him a favor to be cashed in on whenever Madara felt like it, which was a much better outcome to him being told about Naruto's predicament than had been expected. The villagers had all been told the incident was a result of one of Tobirama's chakra-related experiments. Which almost literally everyone, even most of the ninja, had believed without question. So everyone's asses had been successfully covered for the time being.

"Then go do it, dammit! And hurry!"

The brunet kissed her cheek and bolted out of the house, leaving a very confused and somewhat frightened teenager alone with the redhead. She sniffled and looked up at him.

"Do you think I'm crazy? I mean, I'm crying over not having white chocolate chip green tea cookies to have with my ramen..."

Naruto stiffened. "N-No! Of course not! I mean, everyone likes their food a certain way! You should see some of the stuff my friend Choji eats! Or Sai! Or even Ino, she really likes some super weird foods!"

Mito smiled a bit.

"Thank you. I suppose I could always just add in some matcha...Or chocolate chips...That would be acceptable, I guess."

Naruto tried hard to not make a face as he continued eating.

_"Geez, Kurama! Did she always eat weird gross things?!" "_ **_No. Thankfully. Just during a certain time in her life...Or in times of extremely high stress. It's only thanks to me she never made herself sick with all the weird shit she'd eat._ ** _"_

Hashirama finally returned after about fifteen minutes, just in time to see Mito adding some more matcha to her half-empty bowl.

"Er, are you okay, Mito?" he asked cautiously.

"Mhm! I was too hungry, so I just added matcha! Come, sit and eat!"

 

He did so carefully as if trying to tiptoe around a highly sensitive booby trap.

 

"Would you like to try some, Hashi? It's good!" "Ah, no thank you, I don't really like the flavor combination of green tea and ramen."

 

Mito shrugged and continued eating. Naruto was shocked that Hashirama didn't give even the slightest sign that the thought had disturbed him. Who wouldn't be grossed out by that?

 

-

 

After they had finished dinner, Mito had announced she would be taking a long, hot bath before heading off to bed, so the boys holed up in Naruto's room to talk.

 

"So, since you can't tell me anything that could change the future thanks to that seal Tobi put on you, do you have a girl back home waiting for you?"

 

Naruto blushed a bit and looked away.

 

"Well, there's a girl I like, but she doesn't like me back. She's in love with Sasuke-teme." "Aw, well that's no fun! I've been there...But then I found Mito and I regret nothing."

 

Naruto yawned.

 

"Er, do you want to go on to bed? I don't mind just waiting in my room for Mito, there are some scrolls I've been meaning to read anyway."

 

He shook his head. "No no, it's fine! I wanna talk!"

 

Hashirama crossed his legs, looking like an excited child.

 

"What jutsu do you know?"

 

The blond grinned.

 

"Well, I'm not good at many, but I can use Rasengan, that's my best one, and a lot of versions of it that me or my dad created, he actually created the original one which I think is really cool! I can do some stuff with Kurama and my summons, not usually at the same time because they don't like working together very much, I have some taijutsu moves I came up with, I'm actually kinda famous for my awesome shadow clones, and I have a really cool henge jutsu and some of the versions of it were created by Konohamaru and his friends!"

 

Hashirama cocked his head.

 

"Shadow clones? You know that? Ho-Wait. Future. Right."

 

"Huh?"

 

"Tobi created it! And he's really proud of it too!"

 

Naruto looked a bit surprised.

 

"Eh?! Your stick-up-his-ass brother created it?" "Mhm!" "Cool!"

 

The brunet readjusted his position.

 

"Think you can show me some of them tomorrow? Tobirama's been talking about seeing what you can do to see if you can be useful to the village while you're here. But I'm okay with just having a new little brother around for awhile!"

 

Naruto took a moment to process that before grinning.

 

"Sure! Like a spar, or just me showing off?" "Spar! I'll spar with you! But our sparring rules are a little strict..."

 

He shrugged. "Can't be worse than the ones we have in my time."

 

"Can't go for the kill, try not to seriously injure your partner, don't use your full power within the village unless you set up a special barrier around the training field first and can guarantee it will hold up to a lot of damage."

 

He shrugged again. "Yup. Pretty much the same. But Kakashi-sensei added to think of who you're sparring with as an enemy you're on strict orders to bring back alive and in decent shape! I think that was just for me, though...I had some issues with motivation when I was younger..." He sweatdropped and rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish smile.

 

"Okay! I'll let him know we're gonna spar tomorrow! After breakfast okay?" "Yeah!"

 

With that, Hashirama bid him a good night and headed to his and Mito's bedroom, quickly wrote and sent a scroll to Tobirama, and soon the three in the house were out for the night.

 

-

 

Naruto bounced along behind Hashirama as they headed to the training grounds. Specifically, the field he usually used in his time.

 

"I can't wait! This is just so exciting!" Hashirama said.

 

"Yeah! I'm ready!"

 

When they got there, Tobirama was already waiting by the posts with a scroll and a pen in hand.

 

"Finally. I was getting tired of waiting." "Then don't show up so early!"

 

Naruto rolled his eyes and stretched a bit while the two bickered.

 

"Oi, you two done yet? I wanna get started!"

 

Tobirama flicked his brothers' forehead before walking over to the blond.

 

"Alright then. What's your affinity?" "Wind! But I can use pretty much everything according to Kakashi-sensei."

 

The albino scribbled something down.

 

"Kekkei Genkai?" "Uh...Magnet, Lava, and Boil Release."

 

More things were scribbled down.

 

"Alright, the match is going to start off with Taijutsu and go from there. Did Hashirama already explain the rules?" "Hai!" "Then both of you take your positions."

 

Naruto and Hashirama went to the middle of the field and Hashirama bowed slightly, Naruto scrambling to do the same.

 

"Begin!"

 

Naruto barely had time to raise his arms to protect his face as Hashirama practically pounced at him. He focused on defense while looking for an opening.

 

_"Damn, he moves faster than Kakashi-sensei!"_

Finally seeing his chance, the blond kicked one of Hashirama's feet out from under him and, when the brunet stumbled, landed a firm punch to his gut before jumping back and grinning.

 

"Tch, nice one! That actually hurts!"

 

"If you think that was good, just wait until you see what I can do with ninjutsu dattebayo!"

 

He made a familiar seal with a smirk.

 

"KAGE BUINSHIN NO JUTSU!"

 

Four clones appeared behind him, making Tobirama's eyes widen a bit.  _"Impressive. Four at once. Even Madara can't do that."_

 

While Hashirama stared in awe, one of the clones socked him quite hard in the face as the real Naruto lept high into the air, using a bit of chakra to help. The other three clones quickly kicked Hashirama to send him flying upwards, only for him to see Naruto doing a flip as he came down towards the man.

 

"UZUMAKI NARUTO RENDAN!"

 

His heel connected with the brunets nose, throwing him into the ground. He groaned and carefully got up from the small crater.

 

"Ow. Cool use of shadow clones!" "Thanks!"

 

He sent a few branches towards the blond, who jumped out of the way and held one hand towards two of the clones. It only took a moment to get what he wanted ready and raised his hand.

 

"RASENSHURIKEN!"

 

The Senju brothers stared with wide eyes as the mass of chakra flew towards Hashirama, who barely managed to dodge it and throw a few shuriken back, successfully dispersing the four Naruto's in front of him. "Huh?"

 

"RASENGAN!"

 

The Hokage was violently thrown into a tree when the jutsu connected with his back, and before he could get up from the ground, a foot was placed on his back and a kunai held to his throat. "Gotcha!"

 

"And Naruto wins!" Tobirama called.

 

"YEAH! I BEAT THE GOD OF SHINOBI DATTEBAYO!"

 

Hashirama whined. "You got lucky! And I think you broke a few things!"

 

Naruto stepped back and helped him up with a grin.

 

"You underestimated him, Anija. Age does not define ability, as we both know quite well."

 

He put Hashirama's arm over his shoulders and helped him support himself.

 

"Come on, let's get you to the medical building and find someone to check you over. You're terrible at mending your own bones."

 

-

 

After a quick trip to the medical building, Naruto and Hashirama went home while Tobirama said he was going back to his lab to continue working. And when they walked in, Mito was waiting for them with a huge smile.

 

"Okaeri, Hashi, Naruto-kun! You're just in time!" she said cheerfully.

 

"Eh? For what? Did I forget something again?" Hashirama asked cautiously.

 

"Nope! Come, have a seat! I have an announcement to make!" The two took off their shoes and went to the couch, Hashirama taking the last empty spot and Naruto sitting on the floor in front of him.

 

Scattered around the living room were Touka, Madara, Izuna, Ashina (which really surprised Hashirama as he didn't know his father-in-law was coming to visit), Tobirama (also a bit of a surprise), and Reiko.

 

 

"Now, as you all know, I have an important announcement to make, and I wanted mine and Hashirama's most precious people here for it. Tobirama already knows, obviously, but here we go." Mito said, tugging on a string hanging from the ceiling.

 

A banner unrolled, dropping light pink and light blue confetti everywhere. It read  _'We're Expecting!'_  in large, bold, red characters.

 

"Wow! Really?!" Touka asked excitedly. "Yes!"

 

Everyone began clapping, even Naruto, but Hashirama just stared between the banner and his wife, eyes wide as dinner plates. Madara clapped his shoulder with a smile.

 

"Congratulations!"

 

Touka ungracefully slapped his back, nearly knocking him into Naruto. "Yeah, congrats, Daddy! I'm sure you won't fuck it up too bad with Mito here!"

 

He turned to his wife. "Are...Are you really...?"

 

Mito nodded, squealing and giggling when Hashirama was almost instantly in front of her, picking her up in a hug and spinning her around.

 

"We're going to be parents! I can't believe it! How long?!"

 

She kept giggling as she was put down.

 

"Two months. I wanted to be sure I wasn't going to lose it before I said anything, but your brother, of course, knew almost immediately."

 

Hashirama kissed all over her face, laughing happily, then tackling Tobirama in a hug. "You're gonna be an uncle!"

 

Tobirama rolled his eyes and pat his brothers head, but he couldn't help a small smile.

 

"More importantly, you're going to be a father. You should probably get some parenting books and start talking to some civilian parents."

 

The brunet's eyes were filled with tears, a few running down his cheeks without him noticing as he went back to Mito and resumed hugging her, though being extremely careful of her middle.

 

Izuna, having snuck away in the excitement, set down a nice looking cake on the kotatsu.

 

"So who wants some of this cake as much as I do?"

 

-

 

It took a few hours, but everyone, save for Tobirama, finally left. They had devoured most of the cake within an hour, though made sure to leave two slices for Mito to snack on later.

 

"Wow! I can't believe I get to see b-her parents when they're born! Well, one of them." Naruto exclaimed.

 

"Who's parents?" Mito inquired.

 

"Uh...Well, I tried to say what I call her, but my mouth forced out 'she'. I think that means I'm not supposed to tell you."

 

Tobirama nodded and sipped his tea. "That would be correct. But it appears that you will one day be getting the news that you're going to be grandparents."

 

Naruto nodded vigorously.

 

"Yeah! That!"

 

Hashirama squealed a bit, sounding almost exactly like his wife.

 

"I'm so happy! I found out I'm going to be a dad and a grandpa on the same day! Who else gets that joy?!"

 

Mito nuzzled further into his neck and adjusted slightly on his lap.

 

"No one. We're special." She leaned up to his ear.

 

"And if you'd like, I can show you how special you are after we know for sure that Naruto-kun is asleep~" she whispered.

 

The Hokage blushed a bit and practically giggled. "Okay!"

 

Tobirama rolled his eyes and looked to Naruto.

 

"Why don't you come stay with me tonight? Let those two start planning in peace. And you can help me a bit with some of the tests I need to run."

 

Mito gave him a knowing and thankful look, to which he only responded with a slight nod.

 

"Yeah! That sounds fun 'ttebayo! I don't know anything about babies so I wouldn't be any help here."

 

"Go grab what you absolutely need for one night, then. Mito needs her rest and you're loud."

 

Naruto excitedly jumped up and ran to his room. "NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE! YOU'RE AS BAD AS HASHI!"

 

-

 

The next morning, Tobirama was up quite early and working away in his personal lab. Naruto was, unfortunately, woken up by a somewhat quiet banging noise coming from said lab and shuffled down the hall towards it.

 

"Ne, Tobirama, what was that?" he asked with a yawn.

 

The door swung open, startling him.

 

"Oh. Sorry. I must've forgotten to put up the barrier."

 

Tobirama ducked back into the room for a moment before stepping out and locking the door behind him.

 

"I was working on one of the experiments to find out more about how you got here. Two of the chemicals I used tend to spit out a burst of smoke when they're combined."

 

He headed towards the kitchen and poured himself a fresh cup of coffee.

 

"I need to head out to train my team soon. You can either come with me and watch or explore the village a bit. Anija and Mito are likely going to be sleeping in late this morning."

 

Naruto yawned loudly and scratched his head.

 

"I think I'll watch, then explore. What's for breakfast?"

 

"I'm not much of a chef, to be honest. Unless you'd prefer to pick something up on the way, I can offer oyakodon* or porridge with fruit. Or just rice with whatever you'd like to put in it."

 

"Is porridge good? I've never had it."

 

Tobirama gave a tiny smile. "Very. Well, not plain. I tend to add a bit of sugar and butter to give it some flavor before I add in fruit. I'll make that. I have bananas, strawberries, apples, and blueberries."

 

While he prepared it, Naruto sat at the small table and dozed a bit, though he was up as soon as a bowl was set in front of him.

 

"Mmm, that smells great! Is it supposed to look like mush, though?" "Yes."

 

The blond took a small taste and grinned. Tobirama set down a plate with some of the fruits he had mentioned chopped up on it, and the two eagerly mixed in some of each (Tobirama had mostly blueberries, though) and they dug in.

 

Nearly an hour later, they arrived at the future Team 7 training field, Naruto in his usual outfit and Tobirama in his standard training attire; Mesh armor shirt, short sleeved blue kimono top kept closed with a light yellow sash, blue pants, wristband and bracelet on his left wrist, kunai holster on his right thigh, and his usual sandals and ankle bandages.

 

"Sensei! You're late! You're never late! Can we start now?!" Kagami whined, not seeming to have noticed Naruto.

 

"Yes, Kagami, we can start. After you three introduce yourselves to our guest."

 

Naruto jumped slightly when the three practically surrounded him and Tobirama.

 

"Uchiha Kagami! Madara-sama hand picked me himself to be Tobirama-sensei's student!"

 

"Akimichi Torifu, I was requested by my Clan Head to join this team as a sign of good faith."

 

The last boy was much less excited, seeming a bit suspicious of Naruto.

 

"Don't be rude. Introduce yourself." Tobirama scolded.

 

"Shimura Danzo. Yoroshiku."

 

Naruto's eye twitched and he looked ready to have an angry outburst, but Tobirama could see (and feel) that he was being rendered unable to speak by the seal placed on him. That wasn't really a good sign. He made a mental note to keep an eye on Danzo.

 

"This is my team. They can be a bit rambunctious at times. Care to introduce yourself as well?"

 

Naruto swallowed hard and nodded, forcing his signature grin onto his face.

 

"Uzumaki Naruto! I'm visiting for awhile 'cause there were some problems at home and I'm safer here!"

 

Danzo stepped closer with a glare. "You're not an Uzumaki. You're blond."

 

Kagami smacked the back of his head. "Shut up! You're in no place to question sensei's guest!"

 

Tobirama rolled his eyes.

 

"He's one of Mito's cousins, he inherited his non-Uzumaki father's hair. Someone was after him, and Ashina-sama personally requested that my brother and I keep him safe here in Konoha for the time being. We want to keep his skills sharp, so I brought him along today to observe. Any complaints?"

 

Kagami and Torifu shook their heads, while Danzo didn't give any response.

 

"Good. We're going to start by learning about Summons, and the ones I currently know of that you could sign contracts with if you wish to do so later on."

 

-

 

Naruto sat behind Tobirama for about an hour while he told his students all about Summons and how they work, and he had finally started talking about the various known Summons about ten minutes prior.

 

"Now, there are three very special Domains you can summon from. If you decide you wish to sign a contract with them, please note that the inhabitants are a bit picky about which shinobi they're willing to even have a contract with. The domains are known as the Three Unexplored Sage Regions. The first one is Shikkotsu Forest, home of the slug Katsuyu. Her power is almost entirely dependant on the power of her Summoner. The second is Ryuchi Cave, home of the snakes and ruled by the White Snake Sage. He is the most stubborn to work with on signing contracts, as he insists whoever wishes to summon his snakes must be quite strong. If he deems you worthy, he will be willing to tutor you personally in Senjutsu until you are able to achieve Sage Mode. You have all seen Anija's Sage Mode, but his is not tied to a summoning contract."

 

The albino grabbed his canteen and took a quick drink of water.

 

"The last one is Mount Myoboku, also known as the Land of Toads, ruled by the Great Toad Sage Gamamaru. The toads are actua-"

 

Naruto jumped up excitedly and cut him off.

 

"Hey, that's where my contract is with! Ne, ne, can I tell them about the toads, Tobi?!"

 

Tobirama rolled his eyes. "If you agree not to call me that again, be my guest."

 

Naruto plopped down beside him with a huge grin.

 

"Deka-jiichan Sennin is kinda old and senile, but he's really smart and he can predict things! He knew my destiny a long time before I was even born and told Ero-sennin about it! The toads are all really nice, but they eat weird stuff. If you ever go train with them, take a lot of ration bars, trust me."

 

He shuddered at the memory.

 

"They're kinda strict with the Sage training, but that's 'cause it's hard to do. With part of it, you have to sit under a waterfall of some oil stuff they have, and if you do badly, it can turn you into a toad, then into a toad statue! When that happens, they leave you in the oil and they really respect the statues and take care of them. One time I got in trouble and had to clean every single one while trying to not fall into the oil! But I did it and I can use Sage Mode now!"

 

The three were leaning closer to him, all looking incredibly curious.

 

"You can summon the toads?" Kagami asked.

 

"Yeah! My personal Summon is Gamakichi, but I can summon some of the others if I want to!"

 

The young Uchiha practically tackled Naruto, while Torifu just moved a lot closer.

 

"Can you show us?! Pleeeeeaaaaase?!"

 

Tobirama stood and lifted Kagami off of the blond by his shirt collar and set him on his feet.

 

"Kagami, have some manners!"

 

Naruto sat up and laughed a bit. "Sure! Uh, well, if your sensei says it's okay."

 

The Senju just quirked an eyebrow instead of answering, prompting the teen to get up and give him an eerily familiar puppy-dog look.

 

"Can I show them? Pleeeaaaase? Gamakichi isn't one of the giant toads! Well, he is really big, but there's plenty of room for him on the training field!"

 

He sighed. "Can you summon any who are smaller?"

 

"Uh...Well, I think I can summon Baachan Sennin, but I've never tried..."

 

Tobirama stepped close to him.

 

"Are you sure it will work? Technically speaking, your contract with them doesn't exist yet. And even if it works, it's unlikely any of them would recognize you."

 

Naruto gave him a look of determination.

 

"He knew my chakra in an alternate universe where the version of me from there didn't even have a summoning contract, and I was almost able to enter Sage Mode just fine! That only failed because someone distracted me too much..."

 

The man just stepped back and sighed again. "Fine. I intended to show my own Summons, anyway, so you may as well."

 

The blond cheered and quickly moved to the most open part of the training field.

 

"Ready?!"

 

"YEAH!" the kids responded.

 

Naruto nipped his thumb, made the needed seals and slammed his hand on the ground.

 

"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!"

 

There was a huge poof of smoke, which quickly cleared to show Naruto, still in the summoning position, on top of Gamakichi's head.

 

"SUGOI! What can he do?!" Kagami practically squealed.

 

Gamakichi looked confused.

 

"Who the hell are all of you? Who summoned me?"

 

Naruto jumped down in front of him and grinned.

 

"How could you possibly forget me, huh? I'm the most memorable ninja ever!"

 

The large toad gave him a scrutinizing look, and something seemed to click in his head.

 

"Oh! Right! Uh, sorry, you woke me up. You know how I am when I first wake up."

 

Tobirama, of course, saw right through him but chose to keep quiet for obvious reasons.

 

Kagami bounced up to them. "Can you show us the Sage Mode? Pleeeaaaaase?! It sounds really cool!"

 

His teacher smacked him upside the head. "Kagami!"

 

Naruto was unfazed as his grin widened.

 

"You up for it, Gamakichi?" "I guess so."

 

The blond leaped back on top of him and sat down with his legs crossed. He shut his eyes and fully settled into a meditation position, soon gaining red markings around his eyes with his red and black cloak materializing. He stood and jumped back down, the kids being able to see his now toad-like eyes.

 

"WOW! So this is what a Sage Mode looks like if you use your Summons to use it?!" "Yup! I can't use it for too long though, I'm not good enough to be considered a Sage yet."

 

He let himself leave Sage Mode and turned back to Gamakichi.

 

"Thanks for the help, Gamakichi! We'll catch up later, okay?"

 

The large toad nodded and poofed away.

 

Tobirama rubbed his temples. He had a feeling today was going to be quite long.

 

-

 

He had been right.

 

After finishing up with his team for the day, he set up a privacy barrier around the field and had Naruto resummon Gamakichi. The two had explained the situation to him, and he ended up revealing that Gamamaru had once told him that one day, a young shinobi with blond hair and blue eyes would summon him, then become his master several years later at a younger age, and he was incredibly grateful that it now made sense. He had agreed to go ahead and let Naruto summon him when needed since Naruto was technically his master.

 

After that, at Naruto's request, they had explored the village together, and Tobirama had had to keep the teen out of trouble the whole time (including stopping him from strangling Touka after she had started an argument).

 

Thankfully, the rest of the week went by peacefully and Tobirama was able to continue working on the time travel situation.

 

The peace ended when Hashirama had asked to see him, and he showed up at the Hokage's office only to find Naruto waiting there.

 

"You wanted to see me, Anija?"

 

"Yes! Mito and I need to leave the village for a week for some diplomatic thing. Can Naruto-kun stay with you while we're away? We can't take him with us for obvious reasons..."

 

Tobirama sighed and rubbed his temples. "When do you leave?"

 

"First thing in the morning."

 

The albino looked between his brother and Naruto.

 

"Fine. Just send him over with whatever he needs when you leave."

 

Hashirama hopped up and smiled, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you!"

 

Tobirama was in for a long week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DETAILS ON SHIT:
> 
> Seal: Basically, Tobirama being the genius he is, came up with what is essentially a version of the "Cursed Tongue Eradication Seal" Danzo used on Root members that will prevent Naruto from saying or doing anything that would change anything in history that he isn't meant to (meaning there is at least one thing he IS meant to change, but if it's something that's destined to happen and something he could say or do would change it, then he's not able to do so). It doesn't paralyze him like Danzo's would, though. Depending on what he's about to say, either different words will be forced out of his mouth, or he'll get a strong feeling that tells him he can't say it if there's no possible way to reword it. Actions will simply fail, mostly if it's jutsu related, but if it's not related to a jutsu, he'd just trip and fall or something.
> 
> Ashina: It seems to be a popular headcanon that Ashina Uzumaki is Mito's father, since their actual relationship is never specified, so I'm going along with said headcanon.
> 
> Reiko: Random Uchiha OC I threw together to be Mito's best friend. I wanted her to have a female best friend for lady stuff, but I'm also gonna say Mito and Izuna are good friends as well. I again used the infamous Naruto Character Creator from deviantART to make her haha, but made some minor modifications to her outfit to get the look I wanted.
> 
> Oyakodon: Japanese dish meaning "parent child bowl", it's chicken and eggs on rice. I'm intending to make this soon, it looks and sounds really good...
> 
> ANYWAYS! Next chapter is going to be another glimpse into Shippudenland, where Naruto's friends are still freaking out!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, back in modern-day Konohagakure...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, this chapter is really short and it kinda sucks, but I couldn't think of much for it...I probably won't be doing another chapter like this until the fic is about to end...Sorry ^^; They aren't the main focus of the fic anyway. Feel free to read or skip this chapter, whatever you want.

Tsunade rubbed her temples as Sakura paced around the room. Everyone else was settling for just shifting a little more often than actually necessary.

 

"Tsunade-sama, it's been almost a  _month_! Haven't you found anything yet?!" the girl asked, quite clearly upset and panicking.

 

"Sakura, I'm trying. I really am. I don't know where he is, and that makes trying to get him back even more difficult than it already would be if we  _did_  know his exact location! Opening a space-time portal is far from an easy feat, even for powerful ninjas!"

 

The woman took a deep breath to try and settle her nerves a bit.

 

"Even Uncle Tobi had to work at it for a while before he could do it, and we all know how powerful he was. I've been focusing solely on learning how to open one. The size created dictates the power behind it. You all said the one that he was sucked into was nearly as big as him, and I can't bring him back without creating one that size as well. So far, I've only been able to create one barely big enough for TonTon to fit through."

 

Sakura groaned and finally dropped into a chair. Kakashi sighed and stepped forward.

 

"We know it's difficult, Tsunade-sama, and all your efforts are appreciated. We're all suffering emotionally right now, and it's hard to control it when you're unable to do anything to help. We're just worried."

 

Tsunade took out a bottle of sake and a small cup, filling it up and downing it quickly.

 

"I know. Sakura, if you want to do more to help, why don't you keep Naruto's apartment nice so it's ready for when he comes back? You know, like house sitting. It'll give you something to do that'll help him out." She took a key out of her desk and tossed it to the pinkette.

 

"Okay..."

 

The girl got up and shuffled out of the room dejectedly. Tsunade sighed and resumed rubbing her temples.

 

"Alright, everyone but Kakashi out. We have something to discuss, and it needs to be a private matter."

 

The teens grumbled a bit as they filed out, leaving the two alone.

 

Kakashi sank into the chair Sakura had previously occupied and gave the Hokage a lazy look.

 

"Maa, what's so important that the kids couldn't hear it?"

 

She rested her chin on her hands and fixed him with a firm look.

 

"We found one of the Nidaime's labs, which I believe is the one he used for more dangerous experiments seeing as it's outside of the actual village."

 

His visible eye widened a bit in surprise.

 

"And why does that concern me, specifically?"

 

"I need you to look over it with your Sharingan for possible booby traps. I was able to dispel the camouflage seal on it once we found it, probably only because it recognized my chakra as being related to his, but his traps were always undetectable to sensors. Hell, the only reason he could sense his own traps at all was because they always had just a smidge of his chakra infused into them so he would be alerted if any were set off."

 

He just nodded. "When do you want me to check it?"

 

"Now would be nice. But I must warn you, he distrusted nearly every Uchiha he ever met, even after the village was founded. There were very few exceptions, one of which was one of his students. Taking that into account, you may not be able to find anything, the Sharingan may not even work, or, though a much smaller risk than the other two, it's possible your Sharingan may trigger something to try and hurt you. I don't know if it would be an explosive tag, some sort of weapon flying out of nowhere, or something like a curse seal attaching to you and causing pain."

 

Kakashi shifted a bit, a silent signal that he wasn't exactly keen on that idea.

 

"I and the sensors I hand-picked will be with you, of course, so if anything bad  _does_  happen, we can try to get you out of the way or, if that fails, I can set to healing you immediately. If you find nothing, I will be enlisting the help of a Hyuuga to see if the Byakugan finds anything. Do you understand the possible risk?"

 

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

 

"Good, then let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Like I said, very short and it sucks. But I promised this chapter would be another glimpse into the modern Konoha and I tried my best with it. Next chapter should be much better! I've already got part of it written!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto finally gets himself into some actual trouble...And it ends up softening Tobirama's heart. Just a little bit. He insists on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kay, so, we got some drama here, miscommunications, and that spanking the tags mention. YES, I KNOW I'M TRASH BUT I HAVE NO SHAME ANYMORE I LOST IT WHEN I THOUGHT OF USING VOCALOID TO TRY AND MAKE KAKASHI SING "I CAN TAKE OFF MY PANTIES!" AND I TRIED IT BUT I CAN'T EDIT AUDIO WORTH SHIT

Surprisingly, the week Naruto was staying with him was mostly peaceful.

 

The blond had joined his team for training almost every day and been quite helpful. He acted as a sparring partner for the three, which they all enjoyed because they were fairly close in skill level and his team felt they actually had a legitimate chance of beating Naruto, which they didn't with Tobirama.

 

The kids had also been fascinated when Naruto created two shadow clones so he could fight all three of them at once, though he had decided not to use any version of Rasengan during the training sessions.

 

But, that peace was shattered on the day Hashirama was supposed to return.

 

-

 

Naruto skidded to a halt in an alley, pressing himself back flat against the wall and panting.

 

_"Oh man, he's so pissed! That wasn't supposed to backfire! What do I do?!"_  he mentally yelled.

 

_" **Kit! Calm down! I kind of know him, if you just go to him, fess up, and apologize, you'll most likely just get off with a lecture and a warning! Running from him is only going to piss him off more!** "_

 

Naruto had, like an idiot, tried to set up a prank for Tobirama. It wasn't anything fancy, just a bucket with some glitter set up in a doorway in his home to fall onto him when he opened that specific door. Apparently that door led to his personal lab, and the glitter got into something he was holding that he had yelled was extremely hard to get ahold of, so he was now tracking the blond down better than Kakashi's ninken, possibly even better than an Inuzuka could and he was terrified of the albinos' wrath.

 

_"How can I calm down?! He's probably going to use me as a test subject for something painful!"_

 

Before Kurama could respond, Tobirama was suddenly in front of the blond, who squealed like a little girl in fright.

 

"T-Tobi! Uh, hi! F-Funny meeting you here!" he squeaked.

 

"I told you not to call me that, Naruto. We are going home  _now_ , and you're going to come quietly unless you want to be punished right here."

 

Naruto gulped as his ear was grabbed hard and he was dragged out of the alley and into the market proper. He then began trying to pull away.

 

"I'm sorry! I'll go get more of that stuff for you, no matter how dangerous it is! I didn't mean to mess it up and I didn't know that was your lab! You didn't exactly label the door!"

 

Tobirama tightened his grip, drawing a yelp from the teen.

 

"Quiet. One more word before we get home and you'll regret it!"

 

Naruto whimpered. He had thought Tsunade was scary when mad, but she didn't compare at all to her great uncle. He was shit-your-pants  _terrifying_  when pissed. The blond bit his lip in an attempt to stay quiet, but unfortunately for him, he couldn't keep his mouth shut and would babble desperately when terrified.

 

"I'm sorry!" he whimpered quietly, looking down. Suddenly, before he could even blink, Tobirama's hand let go of his ear and slapped his ass hard.

 

"OW! What was that for?! OW OW OW!" "I warned you to be quiet!"

 

The Senju kept slapping his ass as they walked towards his house, scolding him as the blond whined and tried to move away, his face bright red and trying to ignore the stares they were getting.

 

Once they finally reached the house, he was dragged inside by his ear and made to remove his shoes before being dragged into Tobirama's bedroom.

 

"Bend over the bed, and don't you dare argue with me!"

 

The teen whimpered as he shuffled over to it and did as told, entire body trembling. Tobirama was quickly behind him and placed one hand, which was holding something Naruto didn't want to know the identity of, on his back before resuming the spanking.

 

"OW! That hurts, stop it!" "The entire point of a spanking is to use pain as a teaching tool. Don't tell me you've never gotten one before?"

 

Naruto blushed and squirmed, though he didn't dare try to get up.

 

"Not like this! OUCH! Just a few smacks that didn't really hurt from Iruka-sensei when I was a little kid! OW, not there!"

 

Tobirama stayed focused on his upper thighs.

 

"Well, this is likely to be the first of many you'll receive while you're here, get used to the idea."

 

Naruto whined loudly, hands fisting into the covers and his head hanging low. This was humiliating! Being spanked like a child, he was sixteen! Much too old for a spanking!

 

"You're never too old to receive such a punishment, especially when you act like a brat."

 

_"Dammit, can he read minds too?!" " **No, Kit, he's just that good of a sensor. He's the best person I've ever known at reading body language.** " "Oh shut up, Kurama! Why don't you just switch places with me?!"_

 

Tobirama started on his undercurve, and he yelped quite loudly.

 

"OW! I get it, I'm sorry! I won't prank you again, I swear!" "No, you won't. Especially not when it involves my lab. Either of them."

 

He stopped for a moment and took hold of the object held against Naruto's back, cracking it down hard and drawing an ear-piercing squeal from him.

 

"OW! FUCK WHAT IS THAT?!" "It's a belt, Naruto. Watch your mouth!"

 

He picked up a fast pace, and Naruto cried out at each strike, eyes quickly filled with tears threatening to spill over. As soon as his thighs were hit, the tears fell and he started sobbing.

 

"I-I'm sorry, Tobirama-sama! I-I promise I'll be-e good! N-No more pra-anks on you!" he wailed.

 

"That's better. If you decide you wish to prank me again, at least ask Anija for advice. He knows what not to do and where not to do it. Both of my labs are strictly off-limits to anyone but myself unless I specifically invite them in or it's an emergency I'm needed for. Am I understood?" "YES, SIR!" "Good."

 

He stopped and moved to put his belt away, deciding to let the blond get up at his own pace. This time, at least.

 

Naruto cried for a few moments before jumping up and doing an oh-so-charming rendition of the 'just got spanked' dance, his hands furiously trying to rub out the stinging feeling.

 

"Ow ow ooowww! I-I'm never gonna si-it again!" "Good, maybe that will ensure the lesson sticks."

 

He whined as he was grabbed by his upper arm and led out of the bedroom and to the door to Tobirama's personal lab. "Stay. I'm going to get a broom, then you're going to clean up the mess of glitter you created."

 

Naruto did exactly as he was told, feet practically rooted to the spot while he waited and continued trying to rub his ass. When handed the dustpan and brush, he knelt down on the floor without complaint and got to work.

 

-

 

A few hours later, Tobirama walked him to the Hokage Tower and straight to Hashirama's office where the Hokage was just sitting down at his desk.

 

"Oh! Tobi, Naruto-kun, I didn't expect you so soon! Did you two have fun while I was gone?"

 

Naruto fidgeted with his hands and refused to look the man in the eye, nervously waiting for Tobirama to tell on him and mentally preparing himself for possibly receiving another spanking.

 

"Not exactly, Anija. He's grounded. I'll let him explain it to you." the albino said, turning and walking out of the room.

 

"NANI?! You can't ground me! You don't have that right!"

 

If Tobirama heard him, he had chosen to not respond.

 

"Alright, what did you do?"

 

Naruto paled.

 

"I-I, um, I tried to prank him...And he overreacted..."

 

Hashirama quirked an eyebrow, yelping when Naruto launched at him and clung to his waist like a child, eyes wide and watery.

 

"Hashiiiiii, he spanked me! And he used a belt even though I've never been spanked before! And it still hurts! He's a meanie!"

 

The brunet pet his hair, immediately falling for the kicked puppy look on the blonds face.

 

"I'm sorry! What prank did you pull? He had to have found it bad if he did that!" "I set up a bucket to dump some glitter on him and I accidentally set it up at his lab but I didn't know that's what was behind the door! I thought it was the bathroom! And he wouldn't let Kurama help me with the pain after and threatened him with, well, actually I don't know because the damned fox won't tell me, but your brother is mean and he can't ground me!"

 

Hashirama chuckled a bit, still petting his hair.

 

"I keep telling him to put up signs so people stop walking into his labs. But I'm afraid he can ground you, he was put in charge of you while I was gone and that included getting to punish you if he saw fit."

 

"Can't you unground me?!"

 

"Afraid not, not unless we both want to be grounded with sore bottoms. I'm not making that mistake again. Once was more than enough. But I will talk to him and see what I can do. If nothing else, I can probably shorten the length or get the terms eased up on a bit."

 

Naruto whined. "Then can you at least do something about my ass? It still feels like it's on fire!"

 

Hashirama tussled his hair. "After I talk to him. If I do it now, I won't have any leverage to use to try and lighten your sentence."

 

He just groaned and buried his face in the black shirt as its owner started on his paperwork with his free hand. He kept the other in Naruto's hair and let the teen stay like he was. He had a feeling this was only the first of many times he'd be doing this.

 

-

 

"Isn't that a little harsh, Tobirama?"

 

"That ingredient is exceedingly rare, Anija."

 

"I know! But a whole month without training of any kind, and two without ramen?"

 

Tobirama rolled his eyes and carefully measured out a small amount of a liquid Hashirama didn't want to know the purpose of.

 

"I had to track down a dealer in another country and hire someone to go fetch it for me. There is only one known dealer and each customer can only buy that specific item from him once unless you have some sort of contract with him, then you can buy it once every five years. I do not have that contract because, frankly, he's quite a shady man and that's one line I will only cross if lives depend on it."

 

His older brother pouted.

 

"You already gave him a whipping! And it still hurts! This is only his first offense, can't you take some pity on him this time?"

 

The white-haired man sighed.

 

"Are you going to keep pestering me until I do?" "Yes." "...Fine. What do you deem fair, then?"

 

Hashirama beamed.

 

"Maybe grounded for two weeks, and not banning ramen?"

 

Tobirama thought for a moment.

 

"Two weeks, no training, chakra bound but able to be accessed in an emergency, can't leave your house without an escort. That fair enough for you?" "Mhm!"

 

Hashirama gave him a tight hug before practically bouncing out. "Arigatou!"

 

-

 

Once the Hokage returned home, he quickly found Naruto in his room, laying on his stomach on the floor with a scroll, ink in a few colors, and a few small paint brushes scattered in front of him.

 

"Ah, Naruto-kun, I've got good news! I got your grounding lessened!"

 

The teen was almost instantly up and right in front of him.

 

"Really?! What is it now?" "Well, you're not allowed to train for two weeks, and you can't leave the house by yourself during that time. You're also not allowed to use yours, or the fox's chakra unless it's an emergency."

 

He pouted a bit.

 

"That's the best I could do. The original plan was a month of no training and two months without ramen. But I can make the pain go away! He didn't forbid that!" "Can you do that now, please? Laying on the floor isn't very comfortable..."

 

The man laughed and nodded, guiding Naruto over to the bed and helping him lay down, then holding one hand over his backside as it began to glow with healing chakra.

 

"Aaahhh...Thanks, Hashi-nii! It already feels better!"

 

He smiled. "You're welcome. Trust me when I say everyone fears his belt...I swear he infused it with chakra or something, there's no way a belt should sting for so long!"

 

Naruto looked back at him with a confused expression. "Huh? How would you know?"

 

Hashirama blushed slightly and scratched at his cheek, giving an awkward chuckle.

 

"He may have used it on me once...Or three times...For slacking off too much...And ungrounding one of his students and letting them take a D-Rank mission on their own..."

 

"...I thought  _you're_  the older brother." "I am! But he's one of my advisors, and part of that job is keeping the Hokage on track, motivated, and making sure they get all their work done. How they do it is up to them, and I ignored his threats about doing it one too many times because I was sure he wouldn't actually carry it out...Long story short, I try to not skip out on any of my duties and I feel bad for his students when they step out of line."

 

The teen winced. "Ouch. Heh, imagine if Sasuke-teme tried that on  _his_  brother...Maybe things would've worked out better!" He frowned. "Dammit."

 

"Words change themselves again?" "Yup."

 

-

 

That night, Tobirama joined them for dinner and Naruto expertly avoided eye contact with him. The other three didn't seem to notice as they had their own conversation going, so the blond just quietly picked at his food.

 

"Something wrong, Naruto?" the albino asked.

 

He quickly shook his head. "N-No! Everything's fine! I-I'm just not really hungry..."

 

All three adults frowned.

 

"Your appetite is quite sizable, are you ill?"

 

He shook his head again.

 

"I'm fine, really! I'm probably just tired or something, it happens a lot on missions. Can I go to my room?"

 

Mito nodded and he quickly got up and vanished down the hall. Hashirama looked at his brother with a deep frown.

 

"You didn't sit with him and talk after you punished him, did you?" "No, why would I need to? He understands how punishments work."

 

The brunet shook his head.

 

"No, he doesn't. He's been almost entirely on his own his whole life. He didn't have a parental figure at all until he was ten, and even with that, it hasn't been much. As a child, he only had whoever was Hokage at that time and one teacher. They never really punished him save for scolding. He was pushed around and treated poorly by nearly everyone in the village, children and adults alike. He doesn't understand, Tobirama."

 

Red eyes moved to look at the table instead of at the Hokage.

 

"You're going to insist I go talk to him, aren't you?" "I will drag you in there and lock the door if I have to."

 

Tobirama sighed and got up.

 

"Please excuse me."

 

He went to Naruto's room and knocked lightly, slipping inside at the invitation to do so.

 

"It appears I made an assumption today that was incorrect and has resulted in ill feelings. I wish to correct that."

 

Naruto didn't look at him as he sat on the end of the bed.

 

"I wasn't aware that you looked after yourself from the moment you were old enough to enter the academy, and as such had no real discipline in your life. I should've sat you down and talked with you, and I apologize for not doing so."

 

The teen shrugged.

 

"I did not punish you to be mean. I punished you because you did something wrong and needed to be corrected. It may have seemed like it, but I did not punish you out of anger, either. I apparently seem angry when I'm trying to be firm, but you'll be able to tell the difference soon enough. In the future, I will be sure to sit you down and explain why you're being punished and what's going to happen."

 

Naruto nodded and nervously glanced up at him.

 

"So...Y-You don't hate me?"

 

Tobirama felt his heart ache a bit.

 

"Of course not, Naruto. Trust me, if I hated you, you'd know it. Everyone would. What happened is in the past-" He stopped for a moment.

 

"Er, no pun intended."

 

The blond couldn't stop a grin from spreading across his face, making the albino blush slightly from embarrassment.

 

"Anyway, any punishments you receive while here will be done out of concern for you and your wellbeing, alright? You could've gotten hurt setting that prank up if you weren't careful."

 

Naruto nodded and smiled, hesitantly giving him a quick hug.

 

"I should probably grab a shower, my hair is getting gross. Seeya, Tobi-nii-san!"

 

He dashed out of the room before Tobirama could respond, leaving the man a bit dumbstruck.

 

"D-Don't call me Tobi!"

 

-

 

The next two weeks went by like a breeze. Now that he understood what was going on, Naruto didn't really complain about his punishment. At least for a few days.

 

About four days in, the teen started getting restless and whined to Mito about it (because she was the only one home), and she took pity on him. To give him something to do, she had asked him to help her start preparing the spare bedroom (which she and Hashirama had been using as a storage room) to be turned into a nursery, and he gladly accepted. Naruto had even insisted on carrying everything so Mito didn't have to lift a finger, just tell him where to put what. He even refused to let her do more than dusting and some sweeping when the room was cleared and ready to be thoroughly cleaned, and did most of it himself.

 

Just to make him feel special, Mito gave him the "official" title of Nursery Setup Assistant and would be the first person she or Hashirama called for to help out with the nursery, though he could help out whenever he wanted to.

 

When his time was finally up, though, Naruto eagerly bolted out of the house and to his usual training field to train out his pent-up energy, and Tobirama actually had a bit of trouble trying to keep up with him.

 

-

 

"NARUTO! Slow down! Are you using chakra for this?!" "NOPE! Lots of energy!"

 

The teen skidded to a halt when he reached the center of the field, Tobirama suddenly fazing into existence next to him. He didn't even react.

 

"By the Sage you're fast!"

 

Naruto laughed. "Well, when you have two women who are really strong and really scary who like to hit you when you do or say something stupid, you've gotta be able to run fast to get away. Baachan and Sakura-chan can throw me from one side of the village all the way to the other side and like a hundred feet or so out of the gates with one punch! Baachan can throw me even farther if she actually puts chakra into her punch..."

 

The albino's eyes widened a bit in shock.

 

"She can launch you several hundred feet via a single punch  _without_  using chakra to propel you?" "Hai!"

 

His skin became a bit paler.

 

"...She must be related to Mito somehow. She is the only ninja I've ever known who can do something like that, and even she can't toss someone that far without using some chakra. I'm not sure I ever want to meet this woman."

 

The blond just grinned at him.

 

"Well, she knew you and Hashi-nii when she was a little kid! That's a loooong time from now though! So, are you gonna train with me?" "...I may as well. I am interested to see how our shadow clones will do if pit against one another."

 

Naruto's grin got bigger. "How many?"

 

"How many can you create?" "I created almost a thousand once, but usually I don't try to do more than a hundred."

 

Tobirama's eyes went wide. "One  _thousand_  clones? I can only create ten myself...Well, it's wonderful to know that at least one of my jutsus will be taught for multiple generations."

 

Naruto tried to speak, was unable to, and just gave a grin and an eager nod instead.

 

"...Kage buinshin wasn't taught to you in the academy, was it?" "Well, I learned it before I graduated and became a Genin..."

 

Tobirama rolled his eyes. "You must be related to Hashirama somehow, that sounds exactly like something he would do."

 

"If I am, I don't know how. The only relatives I know of are my parents and maybe two people from the Uzumaki Clan, but one died a while ago. And that's actually kinda my fault, but I didn't have a choice..."

 

The albino just summoned two shadow clones.

 

"Two clones each, we stand back and observe them. Once all are dispelled, we will take turns fighting each other's clones. Agreed?"

 

Naruto nodded. "Yeah! Let's do it dattebayo!"

 

He summoned two clones of his own and sent them onto the field before joining Tobirama at the far edge.

 

"Mine are totally gonna win!" "You seem to forget I did create this jutsu, it would be unwise to underestimate me."

 

Tobirama gave a signal to his clones, and they jumped into action.

 

It barely took a minute for one of Naruto's clones to be dispelled, though the other one made up for it by fighting harder. After a brief taijutsu match, it dispelled one of Tobirama's clones and the two jumped into a ninjutsu battle. They threw various jutsu back and forth for around ten minutes before Naruto's clone was struck by a kunai and dispelled.

 

"Aw man! I almost had you!" the blond whined. Tobirama gave a small, amused smile.

 

"Indeed you did, it was quite a close call. I'm impressed. Though I will be much more impressed if your clones come that close to defeating the real me." He dispelled his remaining clone. "Would you mind creating another?"

 

Naruto did so with a grin, and it ran out into the center of the field. The albino jumped after it and didn't hesitate to start the sparring match.

 

It took about ten minutes, two Rasenshuriken, an Uzumaki Naruto Rendan, and a Rasengan, but Naruto's clone did succeed in beating Tobirama, who was actually panting a bit.

 

"That was even more impressive. I dare say your clones are more solid than mine."

 

The Jinchuuriki practically preened with pride and dispelled his clone. "Thanks, Tobi-nii, I knew I could do it 'ttebayo!"

 

The Senju made his way back to Naruto and took out his canteen, eagerly gulping down half the contents.

 

"Alright, your turn. But no demon fox chakra."

 

Naruto nodded and ran out to the middle of the field, waiting for a clone to join him.

 

Once one did, their spar began almost instantly. Though Naruto won in about five minutes because Tobirama hadn't rested enough prior to sending out the clone, therefore it was a bit weak and was defeated by a punch to the gut.

 

After that, they exchanged worn out smiles and shook hands, then headed back to Hashirama's house with Naruto somewhat bragging a bit. Tobirama didn't have the heart to tell him to stop, so he just let it slide.

 

But just this once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY GOT THIS SHIT DONE. I GOT LAZY ON THE SPARRING BUT I'M NOT AT ALL GOOD AT WRITING FIGHT SCENES.
> 
> Anyway, hopefully the next chapter won't take as long. I'll try to add in a scene from Konoha in Naruto's time, but it won't be a standalone chapter this time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kay, so, this is kinda random and all over the place. You could say it's... _Chaotic_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not at all sorry for that horrible pun. I work best with chaos, even IRL. My shit looks so unorganized and chaotic, but I still know where things are and if it's too neat, it causes serious anxiety. So yeah. Please enjoy the chaos and the nice little plot twist.

There were many things Naruto thought he would see when he walked into Madara's house in the Uchiha compound. For example, at least one wall in the living room being covered in several different weapons, and an entrance to some kind of dungeon or torture chamber. He maybe even expected to see lots of things that had been burned, a few skulls or other human bones, possibly even at least one flaming cauldron. He was surprised to find a fairly typical living room for the time period, if with a darker color scheme.

What shocked him, though, was following odd noises he heard to Madara's bedroom, which had the door partially open, and seeing Madara on his bed with his legs spread wide fucking himself with a decently sized dildo and moaning like a whore.

Seeing this caused Naruto to scream and cover his eyes, while Madara stopped and threw a book at the door to shut it and yelled about privacy.

It took ten minutes for Madara to come out and find the blond sitting in a corner in the living room, then he spent ten minutes yelling at and lecturing the horrified kid about manners and the proper etiquette to follow when you enter someone else's home before they finally made their way to the kitchen.

Naruto had been in this time period for four months now, and Madara finally cashed in on the favor he was owed.

He tied his hair up into a high ponytail before grabbing a watery blue apron and turning to the Jinchuriki.

"Alright, brat, we're going to bake a few things. The old hag who runs the bakery got a huge order and asked if I could handle some of it so she didn't have to close for the day. You know your way around a kitchen?"

Naruto shook his head quickly. "N-Not really. Hashi-nii and Mito-nee-san have been teaching me a little bit about cooking so I can make real food when I go home and don't have to live off of instant ramen anymore, but all they've taught me so far is porridge, eggs, and pancakes!"

Madara grumbled and tossed a leaf green apron at him, which hit him in the face.

"Then you can handle the simple parts. Put that on and wash your hands while I get out what we need for the pies."

Naruto whined a bit at being hit in the face but did as he was told, glad he wore a t-shirt so he didn't have to roll up his sleeves. He hated doing it, Mito always made him when he helped her in the kitchen.

It didn't take long for everything to be set up, thankfully. Naruto was put on mixing duty to keep things simple while Madara measured and added ingredients, and the teen chose to remain almost totally silent. He still felt awkward about what he had walked in on.

As the Uchiha took the dough from the bowl and began rolling it out, he huffed in annoyance.

"Just say or ask whatever it is you're wanting to, I'm not going to slit your damn throat for speaking."

Naruto jumped slightly, cheeks tinting pink.

"U-Uh, well, I, um, it-it's totally okay if you are, but are you, like, you know...Gay?" he asked, the last word barely coming out as a whisper.

"That's it? Seriously? What, is your time period full of homophobic bullshit?"

He quickly shook his head and held up his hands.

"N-No! Not at all! It's just that Hashi-nii was the only one of the Founders we were told about ever getting married or having any kind of relationship like that, and we all kinda assumed that you were all straight or something because times change and we thought that being gay may have been a crime or something in this time!"

Madara snorted.

"Oh please, very few places have ever had issues with it. Ancient texts from around the times of the Otsutsuki Clan talk about the brothers taking up several lovers throughout their lives, male and female. Only a few backwards clans and countries see it as a problem."

Naruto nodded, looking quite surprised.

"And to answer your question, no, I'm not gay. If it's a living, breathing person capable of giving consent, I couldn't care less what their sex is. It's completely irrelevant to me. If I'm interested, then I'm interested. Simple as that."

The teen relaxed a bit and smiled slightly awkwardly.

"Heh, that kind of reminds me of a few people I know. As long as they can get off, they don't care who it's with." "That's fairly common around here, mostly with anyone who's active duty. Take your pleasure where you can."

They fell back into silence, this time a comfortable one, until Madara put a crust into a pie pan and slid it in front of Naruto.

"Fill that up with the apples, they should be ready by now." "Hai!"

Along with the apple, they also put together a strawberry and a black cherry pie, and Madara showed him how to do a lattice. He used the apple one to show, the strawberry one to help him try it, and let him do the black cherry one by himself. That one didn't look the best, but Naruto still felt proud of himself and the Uchiha let him have his moment.

Once the pies were in the oven, they started on a batch of chocolate chip cookies with some fresh blueberries added in.

"Blueberries in chocolate chip cookies? Who eats that?" the blond asked.

"People, obviously. Have you not tried any before?"

Naruto shook his head.

"Well, I'll let you have one when they're finished. But only one! And don't tell anyone! I don't want that hag chasing me around with a wooden spoon again."

The teen nodded quickly and mimed zipping his lips, then took the bowl he was being handed and got to work.

* * *

The rest of the morning went rather smoothly, and Naruto helped Madara carry the baked goods to the bakery close to the Uchiha compound. The Uchiha ushered the blond inside first and followed directly behind him.

"Hey! Old hag! I've got the stuff!" he yelled towards the back.

"Bring it behind the counter, Madara-kun! You know where you can put it!"

Naruto hesitantly followed the man behind the counter and put down the box of cookies where he was pointed to. Once he did, an old woman a bit shorter than him came out from behind a curtain.

"Oh, you brought a guest! I wasn't aware you'd be doing so." she said cheerfully.

"Yeah, he's the brat Hashirama took in. He helped with the baking."

The woman walked over to Naruto and smiled, pinching his cheek.

"Oh, isn't he just a dear! But so thin! Child, are they feeding you enough? A shinobi needs some meat on his bones!"

Naruto blushed a bit and chuckled nervously.

"Uh, yeah, I have what Baachan calls a fast metabolism. I eat a lot but don't really gain any weight."

His stomach suddenly growled quite loudly, making his blush darken. The woman turned towards Madara and pointed a wooden spoon that seemed to come out of nowhere at him.

"Did you make this poor boy work all morning without feeding him? He sounds like he's starving!" "No! He never asked about eating anything!"

Naruto gave a sheepish smile.

"He's right, I didn't. I had a big breakfast right before I went over anyway so I wasn't actually hungry until now. But he let me try a cookie since I'd never tried one like them before!"

She promptly smacked the Uchiha's head with the spoon when he glared at the Jinchuriki.

"You should've offered him something! Or at least let him have two!" "Well, you bitch at me if I don't bring the full batch!"

Naruto tried really hard not to laugh. He truly did. But he couldn't help himself and doubled over laughing his ass off at the two. Madara shot him another glare, but the old woman smacked him with the spoon again.

"Oh, you behave! And thank you for your help, even though you are a grouchy little housecat. Now scooch! I do still have work to do!"

She shooed them out towards the door before ducking back into the kitchen. Right as they started to walk away from the small shop, the woman poked her head out.

"Oh! Hold on, child!"

Naruto turned around and she tossed a small box to him.

"Take that to Tobirama-kun for me, would you? He's probably too busy to come and pick it up before he can finish work for the day, but it's better fresh and the poor dear needs to eat something. Arigato!"

Naruto just nodded as she disappeared back inside, then looked up at Madara.

"So, uh, who was that?"

The man rolled his eyes and started walking towards the Hokage tower.

"Tani, civilian from the Sarutobi Clan. She made a cake for us to convince Hashirama to let her open up a bakery and it worked."

The teen just nodded again and remained silent until they reached the tower. Madara ushered him in and told him that his debt had been repaid so he could go and do whatever after he dropped off the box, then took off across the rooftops. Naruto waltzed on inside and to the albino's office, actually knocking and waiting for an answer before opening the door.

"Can I help you, Naruto?" "The old lady from the bakery asked me to bring this to you 'cause she said you need to eat something!"

Tobirama motioned him towards the desk, not turning away from his filing cabinet.

"Much appreciated. Just place them on my desk, I need to find a specific file before I can take a break."

Naruto did as told before walking over to him, but staying back just far enough that he couldn't read anything Tobirama pulled out. He hated it when people did that.

"Ne, what are you looking for? Can I help?"

"No. It's a classified file, you are not in a high enough position to view the contents."

The blond pouted.

"I didn't want to read it, you could just tell me what it's labeled and I'd look for that, I wouldn't look inside!"

Tobirama sighed.

"If I don't find it within five minutes, I will accept your help if you keep to that. Deal?" "Hai!"

Unfortunately for Naruto, Tobirama found the file about a minute later and took it to his desk, placing it in a drawer as he sat down.

"Now I can take a quick break."

He opened the small box and his eyes lit up, though his expression only softened slightly. He took out one of the blueberry chocolate chip cookies Naruto had helped make about an hour previous and took an eager bite.

"Tani-san has outdone herself, these are better than her last batch."

Naruto grinned.

"Arigato, Tobi-nii! I helped Madara make them this morning!"

The albino just barely managed to not start choking on his treat at that statement and swallowed hard.

" _Madara_  made these? You must be pulling my leg." "Nope! But don't forget I helped 'ttebayo!"

Tobirama felt himself blushing slightly and looked down at some papers on his desk to hide it.

"Of course. Well done. I see your cooking lessons are starting to pay off."

Naruto grinned wider. "Arigato!"

Tobirama pushed the box towards the edge of his desk.

"Feel free to have one if you'd like. It's unlikely I will actually eat all of them." "I'm good! The lady at the bakery let me have some because I helped make them and I was kinda hungry. And Mito-nee-san doesn't like it if I eat a lot before meals."

The albino just nodded and got back to work, which Naruto took as his cue to leave.

Once sure the blond was gone, Tobirama groaned and let his head drop into his desk.

"Of  _course_  they taste better because  _he_  made them. Fuck that Uchiha and my life."

 

* * *

That night at dinner, Mito coaxed Naruto into talking about his time with Madara, which he was doing eagerly between bites.

"The old lady was really funny and smacked Madara with a wooden spoon a few times 'cause she thinks I'm too skinny and he only offered me one cookie! I thought they were weird until I tasted them, they were actually really good!"

Hashirama was practically beaming.

"What kind were they?" "Chocolate chip cookies with some blueberries! The old lady gave me some to take to Tobi-nii as we were leaving her shop and I think he liked them."

Mito smiled.

"I would hope so, they are his favorite."

The brunet nodded in agreement and resumed eating.

"Really? Neat!"

The rest of the meal was eaten in relative silence, and Hashirama handled the cleanup while Mito went to take a bath. Naruto decided to hang around Hashirama and keep him company while he worked.

"Ne, Hashi-nii, why does Madara act mean and like a pissed off cat even when he's trying to be nice?"

Hashirama laughed and looked over to him.

"That's just how he is. He's abrasive to weed out people who he feels aren't worth getting close to. It's kind of a defense mechanism, he shows his worst and lets people who can handle it see his best. He can actually be really sweet if you get into his circle of loved ones."

The blond thought for a moment.

"Is that how he finds dates? Like with men and women?"

Hashirama looked a bit surprised.

"Well, kind of. He's actually really shy when it comes to that. He'll usually try to talk to them, and if they handle his abrasiveness well, he'll either leave a letter in their mailbox asking for a date and telling them where and when to meet him to discuss plans, or he'll have one of his birds deliver it and bring back their response. That way is actually pretty successful, he always knows which bird to send based on both its personality and that of the person he's asking out. He told you he's not straight?"

Naruto's face went red.

"Uh, yeah...I kinda saw some, well,  _things_ , and I asked him if he was gay."

The Hokage blushed slightly as well.

"I've told him he needs to make sure his door is shut and locked...At least his front door if not his bedroom door. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"I've walked in on much worse, trust me 'ttebayo."

* * *

 The next few days went by rather quietly. Tobirama had asked Naruto to pick him up another small box of chocolate chip and blueberry cookies while he was out running a few errands for Mito (who had come down with a slight cold and was being coddled and pampered by her loving, worried husband), and he finally managed to get to the bakery after finishing his actual errands.

When he walked in, he was greeted by the smell of vanilla and ginger practically slapping him in the face.

"Hey! It's me again! Tobi-nii wants me to get him some more of those cookies!" he called as he approached the counter (which doubled as a display case).

Tani came out of the back and smiled, quickly grabbing a box and starting to fill it.

"He really liked this batch, didn't he?" "Mhm! He acted kinda weird about it though. He said he hoped some from mine and Madara's batch were left when I was walking away."

The woman chuckled and gave him the box.

"I wish those two boys would just sit down and talk. Then they could drop the shy and stubborn acts."

Naruto cocked his head, but the woman just smiled again and shooed him out.

"Go on and take those to him, tell him they're on his tab." "Hai! Arigato!"

Naruto gave a slight bow and left, still a bit confused.

_"Ne, Kuruma, do you know what that old lady was talking about?"_

He heard the demon fox yawn as he woke up.

_" **You mean about Tobirama and Madara?** " "Yeah!"_

Kurama sighed.

_" **Yes, I do. I didn't want to tell you this, not right now because of the whole 'this-could-change-history' thing, but it involves the reason Madara left Konoha.** "_

Naruto waited.

_" **They're in love with each other, but they both think the other still hates them. Madara left because, in several years, Tobirama will be engaged to a woman from a clan who will only agree to join the village if there's a marriage between someone of their head family and someone of the Senju's head family, and at that time, the only one available is Tobirama. Madara confronted him about it because he had finally talked himself into saying something the day before the engagement, they ended up fighting and both confessed, but Tobirama refused to break off the engagement because it was important that that clan joined the village.** "_

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks and dropped the bag he was carrying.

"NANI?!"

A few of the villagers stared at him, and he blushed slightly as he realized he had shouted that out loud. Kurama was cracking up while his host picked up the bag and hurried away to hide in a tree.

_"They're in_ LOVE _with each other?! Seriously?!" " **Yes, Kit. But they're both idiots and won't realize shit until it's too late. I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to change that. If you were, I'd remember that.** " "You didn't know we were gonna get sent back in time!"_

He went silent for a few moments.

_" **Fair point. But still, that's a huge thing and you haven't been able to do or say anything about Danzo, and he's a huge thing.** "_

Naruto settled on a branch high up and out of view, then started thinking.

_"You know, I kinda know how it feels to like someone who goes for someone else who doesn't care about them instead of you who obviously does. I'm gonna try to help them! Even if it doesn't work, I have to try!"_

He heard Kurama sigh and could practically see the fox shaking his head.

_**"You're an idiot. I can't exactly stop you, but I can say it's probably going to be impossible without removing that seal Tobirama placed on you."** "Gee, thanks for the encouragement, Kurama. Your support is overwhelming."_

Naruto hopped down and hurried back to his temporary home, and he was surprised to see Tobirama and Madara sitting at the dining table with Hashirama.

"Anija, you're not thinking this through. Do you not see the potential danger of a tunnel system like that?"

Hashirama whined.

"Tobi! I do think about these things before I bring them up to you! Plus we could put seals on all the entrances that will only allow certain people to get in!"

Naruto approached the table and set the box of cookies next to Tobirama.

"Uh, hi! What are you guys talking about?" he asked.

"The idiot Senju wants to build underground tunnels between the Hokage Tower and the hospital in case he needs to get there quickly in some sort of emergency." Madara answered, taking a sip from the mug he was holding.

"Oh, those? They're great! We've used them as shelters for the hospital patients when the village has been attacked! Also civilian kids."

Hashirama beamed and gave his younger brother an 'I-told-you-so' look, laughing when he groaned and dropped his head onto the table.

"Fine. After he checks the plans and can honestly say that they're exactly how the tunnels are in his time." "Good enough for me! Arigato, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto grinned.

"Sure thing! Do you need me for that now?" "Yes, please. I don't want to deal with a headache from my dear older brother pestering me."

Hashirama whined again and slumped into a depressed mood as Naruto sat next to him. He was slid the rough sketch of the design and carefully looked it over.

"This looks right, except there's supposed to be two rooms hidden around here, and there are a few cells over here. One room is full of medical stuff and the other has toys and games and stuff for kids. Those are the shelters. The cells are used for really strong and dangerous people we arrest, and there's one extra that's basically a, as Baachan calls it, maximum security hospital room. That's where they have Obito right now."

Tobirama looked slightly impressed.

"I was thinking about adding that kind of stuff later on if Tobi actually agreed we could build the tunnels!" "Cool! The shelter rooms have special seals that make it so only Konoha ninjas who are acting on their own can find and open them. It's usually only the ANBU and some of the Jonin who need to, though. Same with the special cell, there's a genjutsu that hides it from everyone who's chakra hasn't been added to it. The cells cut off chakra for anyone inside them when the door is shut."

The albino nodded.

"Fascinating. How are you aware of this? You said that you're a Chunin." "I've always wanted to be Hokage, so Sandaime and Baachan told me some stuff about what all you do. Baachan explained the tunnels to me after an attack on the village, she took me there to help the kids calm down and cheer up while their parents were being looked for. Well, the parents who hadn't stayed. Some had one or both parents who were active duty."

Tobirama nodded again and took back the blueprints, picking up a pencil and doing a bit of sketching before returning the paper.

"Is this correct?"

Naruto looked it over, seeing the shelter rooms and the cells now in their proper places.

"Mhm! Just like back home 'ttebayo!" "Alright. I'll start working with contractors tomorrow to get an estimate on the costs."

With that, Tobirama quickly gathered up the blueprints and his cookies, then gave a slight wave before he Hiraishined out. Naruto swallowed a bit nervously, trying to think of the best way to get Madara talking so he could start planning how to play Cupid, though he was hesitant to do so in front of Hashirama.

Luckily for him, it seemed fate was on his side as he heard a bell ringing.

Hashirama jumped up, knocking over his chair.

"Oh! I'll be right back, Mito needs me! Play nice you two!"

He bolted towards his bedroom and the blond looked at Madara, who just quirked an eyebrow at him.

"What?" "Um, I just wanted to ask you about some stuff...Y'know, like, dating advice kinda stuff?"

The Uchiha seems slightly surprised.

"Why me of all people? You're fairly similar to Hashirama, I'd assume his advice would be better suited for you."

He paused for a moment.

"...Actually, it's probably for the best you don't ask him. He's a buffoon and an absolutely helpless mess. I haven't the slightest idea how he got Mito to even go on a single date with him."

Naruto snickered a bit.

"Anyway, just ask and get it over with. I have some things I still need to discuss with Hashirama before I leave."

Naruto took a moment to think.

"Well, what's a good date idea? Like what kind of dates do you like?"

Realizing how that sounded, Naruto blushed slightly.

"I'm asking because the girl I like is kind of like you but I can't really ask her or her friends because they'd go blab to her about the plans!" he added quickly.

Madara rolled his eyes, one corner of his mouth quirking slightly.

"If you go telling others what I'm about to say, you will face both my Susanoo and a Grand Fireball."

The teen nodded furiously.

"I myself enjoy quiet, candle-lit dinners. A walk through the forest to a peaceful clearing where we can relax and talk, or just enjoy each other's company in silence. Sometimes a picnic by the river is nice, or some stargazing. The dinner doesn't have to be at a restaurant, in fact I prefer them at home so peace and quiet can be guaranteed. Hell, I'd consider getting coffee or tea and browsing a bookshop a good date if it was with the right person. It's more about being with the person and the two of you enjoying yourselves than what you do."

Naruto just looked at him, absolutely speechless for a few moments before he could make his mouth work again.

"Wow. That...All of that sounds really nice. I think my dad did something like that for my mom to get her to go out with him, then marry him. Just...Wow."

Madara almost seemed to be preening yet feeling embarrassed at the same time.

"Glad you think so. I'm sure the girl you're after would like any of those. Just keep in mind what foods she likes. And maybe take her out somewhere until your cooking skills are decent."

The blond nodded and smiled.

"Arigato! I'll leave you alone now so you and Hashi-nii can talk, I think I'll go do some training! Ja ne!"

With that, the Jinchuriki bolted out, leaving Madara slightly confused as to what just happened.

He decided it was an Uzumaki thing and got himself some more coffee while he waited for his best friend to return.


End file.
